


(If) You Were Real

by Mythyk



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Mute Gordon, They/Themrey, acab stream doesn't happen here, aroace author?, bubby and dr coomer are there, but i do edit/adjust multiple times before posting, but not a lot? yet?, but not as much, characters become real, darnold and forzen are kind of there, depending on what focuses happen i'll edit main tags for characters, except for the first chapter, gman is Not Good, gman makes an appearance, gordon and the player are seperate people, half-life/valve franchise exist, he/him darnold and forzen, he/him gordon, he/him it/its dr coomer, he/him tommy, he/him xe/xer bubby, hlvrai is half-life not gmod, i am sorry if this shows up in the half-life tag, joshua never existed, no beta we die like men, post-game as in post-act 4, post-game au? do you call it that?, quoiroace author (this will... probably be explained by much later chapters), she/they oc, sorry tommy, sunkist too, the "cast" aren't here, they/them benrey, they/them oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythyk/pseuds/Mythyk
Summary: After the game, what happens to the characters? Well, they become real for some reason. But there's a lot of strangeness to deal with when your fictional friends are now real.My brain really focused on some “what-ifs” and other ideas for after act 4. Some of this will probably have some ooc moments, but I think I’ll be trying my best to keep it relatively “canon personality.” With the exception of Gordon/the player, which have other ideas running through my head.(Updates every other Friday)
Relationships: Benrey & the Player, Gordon Freeman & the Player
Comments: 26
Kudos: 66





	1. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey and Dr. Coomer don’t sleep. The player can’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by another fic, “shouldn't talk about it” by poiintprometheus. Basically, the first chapter: Gordon can’t sleep, Benrey and Dr. Coomer talk meta. I don’t know when/where that one happened, this one is right between Act 3 and 4. The one where they sleep with a hole in the roof. Did you know that Gordon Feetman happens in Act 4 Part 1? I didn’t have to think about that until now.

“Ah, there you are,” Dr. Coomer exclaimed as he climbed up onto the roof.

Benrey was lying on top of one of the vents, and to everyone else it would seem they were stargazing. In reality, they were just lying there. They weren’t doing anything in particular.

“ _wha?_ ” their voice was soft, quiet, unlike their usual.

“Eloquent as always, Benrey,” Dr. Coomer replied, sitting next to them as they shifted over slightly.

“…Freeman asleep?” they asked.

“Yes.”

Both remained silent for some time. Dr. Coomer sat calmly next to them, everything in his posture professional, straight-backed with his hands in his lap. Just like what someone might expect from a scientist at Black Mesa. Benrey kept looking up, still as a statue – even their breathing was almost imperceptible.

“Do you think he knows?” Benrey finally asked, not looking at Dr. Coomer.

He considered this for a moment, resting a hand on his chin as he thought. “I’m not really sure if we can ever say for certain, seeing as we can’t say anything about it.”

Silence, again.

“The script sucks.”

Dr. Coomer nodded in agreement. “At least we are still able to enjoy our time together, don’t you think?”

Benrey sat up, resting on their elbows on their knees as their legs hung over the side of the vent. They brushed some dust off of their clothing and asked, “I still gotta be the bad guy. Don’t wanna be.”

“That is why we must enjoy this time as much as possible. It is rather entertaining to be together,” Dr. Coomer chuckled, “and we all frustrate Gordon, don’t we?”

“…He hates my guts, though.”

He hesitated at this, unsure of what to say. “Well… I’m not so sure about that. You are able to entertain him, so maybe he doesn’t truly hate you.”

“Yeah well I’m programmed to be annoying to him,” Benrey looked at him, their gaze digging into the scientist, demanding a rebuttal and yet appearing as vacant as ever.

“Being a nuisance doesn’t mean he hates you. Just as being a tutorial in the game. You’ve seen how my errors- Hello, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer’s face glitched to the default greeting, keeping him from finishing his sentence. One of the horrifying things that could happen.

“Hey, Dr. Coomer,” the man in question replied, voice tired and somewhat flat. He climbed out of the room the rest of the science team (plus a skeleton) was sleeping in, then sat across from them.

“Fail at sleep? Cringe baby need a lullaby?” Benrey prodded. Unfortunately. They only wanted to ask about why he wasn’t sleeping. Too bad.

Gordon shook his head, the faintest hint of a smile on his face. “Restless, just ain’t sleeping.” At least Benrey got the answer they wanted, they supposed.

The conversation died off, and Gordon’s face fell, getting lost in thought.

After a second too long, just as Benrey was about to try an insult on him, he said, “I heard part of your conversation.”

“Eavesdropping? You got, uhhhhh, a passport for that?”

“Now Benrey, it is not the time for ID,” Dr. Coomer said.

Hopefully it was the script that made him sound so patronizing. They just wanted to redirect the conversation away from the stupid program.

“I…” Gordon looked away, taking in the view of the half-destroyed science facility. Smoke still rose into the night, though it was hard to spot given the dim light. “Your conversation wasn’t exactly quiet, you know? I didn’t realise I was taking in information until-” he cut himself off. “Doesn’t really matter though, does it?”

The conversation stopped again, none of them really knowing what to say.

Gordon looked up at the stars, frozen in their positions. Another reminder this wasn’t real. “You ever seen a shooting star here?” he asked.

“I loved looking for them when I was little, with my Mummy and Daddy,” Dr. Coomer offered. “When you see one, you can make a wish, and it might come true!”

“A wish, huh.” He stayed quiet for a minute, before saying, “You know, if I saw a shooting star… I think I’d wish there was life outside of here.”

“There is, _idiot_ ,” Benrey replied, thinking about how they were all going to end up on the alien homeworld sooner or later. Another planet, but outside of Black Mesa.

“I mean- ugh,” Gordon let out a breath. “There’s no proper way to explain ‘here,’ is there?” he asked rhetorically, gesturing around the area, into the sky and elsewhere. “Just… reality, I guess? Something for… for you guys.” He crossed his arms, looking down at the hole.

The physicist watched the pair from over the edge of his glasses, shying away from direct eye contact. They seemed to be having thoughts of their own. However, he noticed subtle glitches, little inconsistencies where it seemed like one of them would talk, but then would stop after less than a syllable escaped their mouth.

“I’m sorry, I should…” Gordon half-slid, half-crawled towards the hole, legs dropping into the emptiness. “I should leave you so you’ve got more freedom to chat, eh?” and then he disappeared from their view, feet landing on the boxes below.

Benrey and Dr. Coomer looked at where he had disappeared for a few moments. It was Benrey who interrupted the silence.

“So he does know.”

“So he does,” Dr. Coomer echoed. “Perhaps something better will become of us after this is all over.”

\---

The player sat in their room, on the ground behind their desk chair. They stared at the equipment in their lap; everything necessary to interact with the Science Team. After hearing what Benrey and Dr. Coomer were talking about… it suddenly felt rude to talk to them anytime other than when they were “actually playing.” It would probably be best if they didn’t do that. For now.

They put the equipment away and climbed out their window, watching the real stars from their real roof, in the real world.


	2. Out of the Frying Pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I throw logic out the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a long chapter, unlike most of the others I've written so far. Might be due to the exposition I've got to lay out? Still, I hope you enjoy it!

Though the headset had long since gone dark, no sound but that empty static coming from the tiny speakers, the player lay on the floor of their room. The carpet was soft, but the flooring beneath it was still hard on their back.

A lot had happened in those last moments of the game.

Especially Dr. Coomer’s last message.

They felt guilty. They weren’t really named Gordon, but the game had to have a pre-set concept for the player. Their name was Casey, 32 years old, and they were a programmer, not a theoretical physicist. Even if the “theoretical” part felt like it applied, always experimenting with software.

Some sounds of a commotion came from beneath them – their dining room and kitchen – and they pulled of their headset, listening for more sounds. They lived alone.

“Where are we?” someone asked, sounding kind of annoyed.

That someone… sounded like Bubby?

Their feet were moving already, heading down the stairs to see just what was going on.

They didn’t really process words for a few seconds when they arrived at the end of the hallway. There they were – Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy (and Sunkist, who he was holding), even Darnold and Forzen – every character standing around the room. But there was another person.

“Gordon, are you alright?” Dr. Coomer was looking at the area to Casey’s right, and they followed his gaze.

The only way they could describe his expression was “apprehensive.” Maybe because he and they were part of the same role in the game. So, what did that make the pair now?

“Huh,” they said, softly. They leaned against the wall, looking back at the rest of the crew. “I guess wishes do come true.”

Bubby, being the one to address the obvious questions, asked, “Who are you?”

Casey thought for a moment. “Technically the player,” they ended up saying. “Casey.” They glanced apologetically towards Dr. Coomer as they said this. That guilt still sat there in their stomach.

Each one of them seemed to process the statement for a moment – except for Gordon, who simply nodded. It made sense he’d be less surprised by that statement, though the fact that they were all standing here still didn’t make sense.

Dr. Coomer decided the best way to check reality was to say, “Does that mean the script is gone, then?” and then display his surprise as the sentence was unobstructed by any programming. The surprise was echoed by Bubby and Tommy, who had been a little more aware of the script’s existence.

“I guess so,” they shrugged.

“Script?” Darnold asked.

Casey looked over at him. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his lab coat, with his shoulders hunched inwards. He held himself at a distance from the Science Team and Forzen, and he kept glancing at the guns the soldier possessed.

“Apparently the game – or script, whichever – had a system that prevented or forced dialogue. I’m not really sure how that happened, to be honest,” they shrugged. “At least it didn’t carry over. That would’ve sucked.” Casey looked over at Forzen, “I’m also pretty sure your weapons are illegal here. Then again, I don’t know that part of the law.”

Tommy piped up, “Where… where are we?”

“Depends on what you mean. My house. Country? Canada. City? Pembroke.”

Forzen spoke up, “We’re supposed to be at Black Mesa. New Mexico. Not in some little suburb in the middle of nowhere.”

“Well you aren’t,” Casey quickly replied, “and bonus, far as I know, Black Mesa has never existed.” They shoved their hands into the pockets of their jeans – or would have, if it weren’t for the fact that they were still wearing their haptic gloves. They opted to pick at the wrist of one of them, avoiding the pieces that were more sensitive to damage. “So have fun reconciling that.”

The room fell silent. Casey looked at the opposite wall of the hallway, waiting for any further questions.

Gordon knocked on the wall, gathering everyone’s attention. He approached Casey and held out a slip of paper, text laid out plainly on one side in neat print.

Clear as day, the paper laid out a different life for Gordon Freeman, perhaps as a way of placing this man in the real world, though he had previously been nothing more than a part of a game world.

“Anyone else?” Casey looked around the room, holding up the paper before handing it back to Gordon. “Looks like a ‘this is your life,’ statement. Unexpected, but convenient.”

The others rooted around in their pockets, each producing identification that “gave” them a different life. One that worked with the world, and not the game they all came from. Each had varying degrees of acceptance, surprise, confusion, and hesitance. However, Casey noticed that Tommy quickly put his information back in his pocket instead of announcing any details from it like the others were.

“Not even police,” Forzen said. “That’s… kinda sucks.”

Dr. Coomer grinned, “This is interesting. It looks like I live near here!”

“So do I,” Bubby noted. “A professor, though?”

“Perhaps we’re at the same school?” Darnold asked, and he and Bubby then compared their information with each other.

After they all tucked their information away again, Casey glanced at the clock, then suggested, “It’s kinda late. How about we just, uh, stay here the night and sort things out tomorrow?”

There was general agreement, and they nodded, their eyes drifting across the group.

“Uh, Gordon,” they started, looking over to him. “Do you want to take the HEV off?”

He shifted, looking down at the suit. He shrugged, nodding slightly, and then Casey pulled out a pen and paper from a drawer, setting it on the countertop of the island. “Need tools? Or any help? We don’t have any of those fancy units for equipping and un-equipping.”

“The suit was only designed for use inside Black Mesa,” Dr. Coomer said, his voice strangely hesitant.

“Black Mesa doesn’t exist,” Casey shrugged, “so we have to make do. Unfortunately.”

Casey left for a moment, returning with a set of tools, which they set on the table. Gordon sat down at Casey’s direction, and they opened the box, and began listing off the tools they had, “So hopefully something works out of these.”

“Any of you know how these things work?” they asked, looking at the rest of the crew – primarily the Science Team, since they were there in-game, initially.

“I believe starting with the chest plate would be the easiest,” Dr. Coomer offered. “And an Allen key.”

They nodded, fishing out the items. They then looked at the suit itself, feeling some tension in their back. “Does it matter if I break this?” they muttered. Gordon gave them a look that yes, it did matter. “I’ll try keeping it intact, but I’m honestly pretty clueless when it comes to hardware.”

Still, they moved carefully, handing another Allen key over to Gordon so that he could start work on the arms.

Casey paused after loosening a part, and they leaned back. “If you want, there’s a TV in the other room,” they gestured over their shoulder. “Have fun channel surfing if you’d like.”

Bubby, Forzen, Darnold, and Tommy took the suggestion, since it was better than standing awkwardly around. Sunkist followed after them, and Casey heard the back door open and close; Tommy must have gone outside instead. Almost immediately Bubby and Forzen started fighting over the remote.

Casey shook their head at the noise, smiling slightly. Despite that, she kept her focus on carefully removing the HEV, sometimes glancing up at Gordon’s face and/or describing what she was working on.

After about nearly an hour, and with some of Dr. Coomer’s help/guidance, they had worked off all of the outer plating, which was now strewn across the floor. Casey grabbed a box from another room, returning to put all the plating in it. Gordon had already peeled off half of the tight underlayer, which seemed to behave much like a wetsuit with how it clung to him.

His clothes also looked… not very comfortable. Especially when Casey noticed the way he crossed his arms, curling in slightly.

“Would you… like a change of clothes?” they asked hesitantly, once the (unsurprisingly) heavy box containing the HEV suit was pushed into a corner of the room.

Gordon looked up at them, surprised by the offer. However, he accepted it.

“Alright, this way,” she waved for him to follow, making their way to her room.

Once there, Casey opened her closet and began pulling out some clothes, creating a small pile on her bed.

“Hopefully some of these fit,” she huffed, resting her hands on her hips for a moment. “Not sure what size you are, but I tend to wear oversized shirts anyways… and we look to be similar in size,” she added, glancing up at him for a moment before returning to the pile. “Jeans or sweats, I’ve also got some flannel hanging up. Or zip-up hoodies, on the shelf there,” she gestured at each set of items.

After a moment, she moved to leave the room and said, “Hope you like whatever you pick.”

Back in the kitchen, Casey watched the group in the other room watching TV. For the moment, they were really quite peaceful, despite the fact that Bubby and Forzen seemed to be sulking at opposite sides of the couch, Dr. Coomer sitting between them at this point. Maybe he threatened the pair to quit arguing or face his “power” limbs. Casey wondered if Dr. Coomer was still (or ever was) a cyborg. Not that they’d ask.

Once Gordon came downstairs in sweats, a large black graphic tee, and a blue-themed flannel, Casey grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from a drawer

They called out to the group in the other room, “Any preferences on a pizza order?” which brought everyone back into the kitchen/dining room.

Bubby was quick to say “Pepperoni” at the same time Dr. Coomer declared “Canadian.”

“I prefer cheese pizza, if… if that’s okay,” Tommy said.

“I like that, too,” Darnold added.

“Forzen?”

“Hawaiian and Canadian are good.”

Casey pointed their pen towards Gordon once they’d written down a list, and he walked over to review the list. He shrugged, fine with whatever option he got.

“How about pepperoni, cheese, and Canadian for the options,” they declared, writing down the choice. “Two or three pizzas?”

“Three,” the majority decided.

“Soda?”

The whole Science Team was overly enthusiastic, so Casey found a list of the drinks to let them debate over which one would go best with their pizza.

However, as they glanced up, the world warped slightly and turned blue. They drew a sharp breath as a man, in a dark suit and gaunt skin, came into view.

“How things, have, changed,” G-man said, looking around. “Don’t you, think, Mister Freeman… hm?” his unnatural speech felt accentuated now that it was unfiltered by the game-reality.

Casey set down their pen, their hand drifting to the side slightly. Gordon set a hand on their shoulder. Their eyes flitted over slightly, but quickly returned to the creepy figure standing between their friends.

“And you… Casey, is it, not?” he continued, focus shifting to them, their name somehow _wrong_ when he said it.

Their skin bristled, wanting to launch over the counter and- well, try to get rid of him, at least. And forcefully. They stayed seated, Gordon’s hand keeping them in place.

“I, would have, asked your further services… but it, seems, we are now at an impasse,” he spoke, words unusual.

Casey almost spoke, but they didn’t think it would be worth it. The less they spoke, the sooner he’d leave. Hopefully.

“Isn’t it, good… that your, hm, friends, have a- a life… out here?” he tilted his head forwards, his facial expression shifting ever so slightly.

Their hand shifted further to the right. They kept their gaze fixed on the thing. The threat.

“Until, we meet again,” he said, after a tense moment. “Or… perhaps, we, shall not. Farewell… then, players.”

G-man left.

Casey’s hands curled into fists, still staring at the place the man previously occupied.

Gordon’s hand left their shoulder.

They took a deep breath and closed their eyes, letting it go slowly.

“What are the soda options?” Dr. Coomer asked.

Soda.

“Y’know what?” Casey stood up suddenly, the stool they had been using scraping on the floor. “I need a minute. There’s your list,” they threw the paper, which landed between them.

They didn’t look back when they left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys do like this. I've worked on it for the past while, and I'm not sure what HLVRAI fans want to see. I'll keep posting what I've written periodically, but I do know I have 12~13 chapters planned out, though it will probably end up longer. (Let's say it's an average of 1000 words per chapter? That sounds about right to me.)


	3. Into the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth will out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G-man explained. Sort of. So is the origin of the "AI" and the game. And the player talks to Gordon.

Gordon, with Dr. Coomer’s help, managed to convince the others to pick out a soda before doing anything else. Gordon continued to wait another ten minutes after they had finally made their decision on soda (and a second one, if Casey agreed to it) before deciding it would be best to check on them.

He looked over at Tommy and signaled for him to come along. Even if Tommy was the most nervous, his concern was related to Casey and he hadn’t tried hurting Gordon at any point in the game. Darnold also fell into that category, but Casey and Gordon knew Tommy better.

Most of the doors were open upstairs, which made it quick to figure out that Casey was behind the one closed door, and it must have also been their room.

Gordon knocked on the door once, twice, with no response. After a few moments, he decided to gently open the door, just loud enough to be noticed.

Casey was facing away from them, sitting on their bed and staring out the window. The gloves they had been wearing earlier were resting on the desk a few paces in front of them. They didn’t acknowledge the newcomers, but they looked down at their hands.

Gordon moved to sit in the edge of their vision, easy to look at if they wanted, while Tommy moved to sit on the other side of the bed. Casey was twisting and wrapping woven plastic string around their fingers, occasionally stretching it out before wrapping it again. Their gaze was unfocused, stuck in their thoughts. For a few moments, none of them spoke.

Finally, they swallowed and stated, their voice hollow, “G-man sucks.”

Tommy flinched slightly at the name. Gordon tilted his head, though he could presume they were referring to that strange man in the suit.

“What, uh… what happened?” Tommy asked.

“He’s real. He’s real and I-” they cut themself off, shaking their head. “He showed up.” They bit a portion of the string for a moment, pulling at it, before rubbing it on their jeans and returning to twisting it. “Maybe it was stupid to hope a reality-bender like him didn’t exist outside of the game, but he does. He exists. He’s real and- he’s,” they faltered. “He made it- made it seem like he was the one who… gave you your…” they gestured, searching for the word, “papers.”

Tommy reached over and put a reassuring hand on their shoulder, which they leaned into slightly. After a short pause, they continued.

“If he exists, do other aliens exist?”

Casey set down the string on a night table, lifting up their legs and wrapping their arms around them, curling in on themself. They spoke softly, then, their voice muffled.

“What does that mean for us?”

Tommy shifted closer and hugged them. They leaned into it, though they stayed partially curled up. Every muscle in their body was tense, unwilling to relax completely. Gordon spotted another set of pens and a notebook on the desk, and he wrote a note and handed it over to Casey.

_What do we – the characters – have in common?_

“Each of you were AI…” they trailed off. “G-man least of all. It was just a precautionary adaptive system. Not a proper AI, but AI. Still stuck very close to the original script the game ran on.” They took a shaky breath, pulling away slightly from Tommy. Looking up at Gordon, they added, “But you were… I didn’t expect that. Another extra run-time to allow other AI to develop as necessary created Darnold and Forzen, and I think it made you. I don’t know why it would do that, though,” they looked away. “Gordon Freeman is supposed to be the player. Why would it overlap? Was there something I missed? Is that the in-between of the maps I skipped?”

Gordon scrawled a response, _Perhaps the “AI” decided that, to help the run along, it could occasionally replace the player._

Casey laughed softly, “Was I that bad at the game?”

Gordon raised an eyebrow and nodded. Casey noticed the way the corners of his mouth curled upwards ever so slightly, and she chuckled a bit more. “Alright, no need to insult me like that.”

“Should… should we tell the- the others?” Tommy asked. He had drawn back, hands gripping the hem of his shirt.

“I don’t have a right to decide,” Casey looked at them. “Up to you.”

Gordon shook his head and wrote, _Not now. Though they might ask about why you left earlier_.

“I can explain G-man’s another… game character. That I don’t trust. And that he showed up.”

Tommy agreed, and they went back downstairs.

The TV was on, and Bubby and Forzen were arguing animatedly about what to watch, the station switching every few seconds. They were hissing at each other more than yelling, likely due to Casey’s earlier change in attitude. Darnold and Dr. Coomer were also trying to say something, but the other pair were so absorbed in the argument they didn’t notice. Perhaps this weird feud was stronger than anything Dr. Coomer could come up with.

Casey looked at the note, seeing the soda request alongside the pizza, and they ordered two bottles (partially as an apology). Choosing to pre-pay for delivery, they completed the order and moved to join the growing party in on the couch. If any of them wanted to ask about their prior outburst, they didn’t pry. (Though perhaps it helped them take control of the remote and put what they would watch to a proper vote.)

When the doorbell rang, Casey left the room easily, having no investment in the show they had settled on. They accepted the pizza and carried it to the dining table, setting the soda next to it.

Gathering plates and bowls, they set them next to the pizza and stood there a few moments. Gordon stepped into their field of view, announcing his presence.

“Hey,” they said, smiling faintly.

They leaned back on the table, facing towards where the others were. Relatively quiet, just the sound of the TV for the most part, a sound that felt muted from where they stood.

“Did I treat you like a puppet?” they asked, looking over Gordon’s shoulder. They didn’t want to meet his eyes.

Instead of immediately responding, he grabbed the notepad (where the pizza order had been written) and wrote for a minute.

_No. You didn’t know, and I believe I was designed to let the player take control when desired. Adaptive AI, like you said, right?_

“Fair enough,” they replied, setting the paper down. “Though I could have always checked the programming if I wanted.”

Gordon shook his head at this.

“Say what you want, I’ll probably consider the what if,” they stated. “Guess that’s just my problem, not yours. Um, by the way,” they trailed off, frowning slightly. “I’m not really sure how to ask this but, um. Boundaries? Personal space? What’s your… boundaries? Do I need to worry much?”

With a gentle smile and shaking his head, Gordon gave them an “okay” symbol.

Casey smiled.

The next moment, Bubby leaned into the room. “Do I smell pizza?”

They looked at Bubby, smirking slightly. “Yeah you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to point something out:  
> ArdeaWrites, the author of "The Physics of the Crowbar" has a really interesting characterization of Gordon. It's essentially a playthrough of the original Half-Life, but with some good perspective and thoughts that the physicist could've had. I enjoyed reading it and took some ideas from their writing for my own version of Gordon. I definitely recommend the read, if y'all have the time! (My Gordon is different from theirs, but ~inspiration~)  
> I mean, I really should point out "Independent Variables" too, since it does contain some of the inspiration I got. Nice sort of introspection during Half-Life 2.  
> Thanks to Omness, hopefully I got this - [The Resonant Crowbar Series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855192) by ArdeaWrites, it's got the books I mentioned above :>


	4. When the Adrenaline Fades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The player is overwhelmed by recent events.

Casey sat on the floor with Tommy and Sunkist, watching TV with the rest of the crew while they ate the pizza. Overall, the situation felt pretty normal in spite of circumstances that led to it.

At some point, someone decided to bring the boxes of pizza into the room, and one of them was already empty. Casey grabbed that one, taking the opportunity to stretch their legs and take a break from staring at the screen. Not that they really had a problem with that, but they weren’t particularly keen on letting their legs stay as stiff as they were. And they weren’t overly interested with what they were watching anymore.

And they realized, after they had thrown out the box, just how exhausted they were. They knew what that feeling meant from experience, even though it had been a long time since they last felt it. One that they had learned what caused it and how to avoid it. The feeling in their core, telling them to get away. Curl up under their covers and hide away from the day.

Well that sucked.

Their chest felt tight, so they left the group to keep entertaining themselves for however long they wanted to. After all, they were still the host and had to care for their guests.

They prepared the guest room, making sure the bed was made and indicating where the towels and extra blankets were kept with simple labels. As well as finding an air mattress (that thankfully didn’t take long to inflate) and sleeping bags, they grabbed some more blankets and made their way back to the kitchen.

There, they wrote a note mentioning the pull-out couch being an option if desired, the blankets they set the note on for that purpose.

Aaand they got a tear on that note.

They hissed and patted at the paper with the edge of their shirt, trying to get rid of the water before it warped any part of it. They bit the inside of their lip, willing the tears to stay down for _just a little longer_ , almost talking to themself. With a forced breath, they kept quiet enough they were fairly sure no one had heard them. They were marginally successful at keeping the note from leaving a noticeable trace and left it at that, quickly making their way back up the stairs.

They kept working, putting a random number of clothes, haphazardly picked, into a basket to leave at their door, in case anyone wanted a change from their “Black Mesa outfit” that they had appeared in. Funny how they hadn’t arrived with any of the gore that had been covering them in-game. But now wasn’t the time to think about that.

Once their bedroom door was closed, they took a few steps, then half-fell to the floor at the end of their bed, using it as a support.

They were finally done, so they sat back and cried.

They weren’t really sure how long it had been when the tears finally slowed to only once in a while, but they just kept sitting there, periodically wiping their cheeks on the wrists of their sleeves.

“Casey?” Tommy knocked gently on the door.

They drew their knees closer to their chest, not answering the person on the other side of the door. It felt like they might not be able to talk, even if they wanted to. They weren’t sure whether they wanted someone else around at the moment.

He came in anyways, and sat beside them. He didn’t say anything.

They didn’t mind that. They didn’t move, either.

After a minute or so, Casey explained, voice cracking, “I don’t cry in front of other people.”

Tommy looked over in surprise, but still didn’t speak. They considered it a strange statement even though they were the one to say it.

“I just… can’t,” they continued. “Though it can happen when I get overwhelmed. I don’t know, there’s just this barrier or something in me. I can’t really cry unless I’m alone.” They scrubbed at their cheek again. “And I’m just tired now. A lot has happened today,” they chuckled. “Am I broken or what?”

“You’re not broken,” Tommy quickly replied. He reached out, but then pulled back a bit.

Casey leaned over, resting their head on his shoulder, still staring at the wall ahead of them. Tommy shifted to wrap an arm around them. “I know. I know I’m not. It’s…” they trail off. “Talking’s hard. ‘M weird like that. Just… different. ’m really tired,” they slurred slightly.

“Is there… any…anything I can do for you?” he asked hesitantly after a moment.

“I’ll be fine,” they replied. Then they laughed, “Feel like ‘m gonna cry if I stand again. Exhausted. I’ll be fine, just…” they shrugged. “Guess I need a minute ‘fore I sleep. You can,” they sat up again, putting their weight on their arms, “you can go back to the others, or sleep yourself. I’ll… I can deal with it.”

“Oh, uh, okay,” he stood up, still offering a hand to help them up, which they accepted. “If you, uh, need anything, I can- I can be there for you,” he told them.

“Thanks,” they smiled, despite the fact that there were fresh tears on their cheeks again.

Tommy left.

Casey went to the bathroom down the hall and cleaned themself up. They looked at themself in the mirror for a moment, taking in their tired features. They’d probably feel unpleasant in the morning, but they couldn’t muster up any will to really care. That was probably the exhaustion in their body. They splashed some cold water on their face anyways, hoping it would lessen the feeling. With that, they returned to their room, quickly changing into PJs and collapsing onto their bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news! I've planned out an upload schedule: every other Friday (starting with this one).  
> It's mainly so that I have a buffer of pre-written stuff so that anything in life doesn't interrupt the expected timing, but also so that you guys know what to expect.  
> And feel free to comment, ask me things, or yell at me. I'll take a critique on if there's any way I can make these characters more in-character <3 I love interacting with others!  
> (Oh and while I'm looking... I'm excited to share chapter 5 with you! I'll give you the title in advance: This Isn't Real, Is It?)


	5. This Isn't Real, Is It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry y'all I almost forgot today was update day!

Casey walked down a hallway with a man. They went to an elevator, reminiscing over the last time they had lived there. They stood in the elevator together, conversing like old friends – good friends. Partway up the elevator, to their destination, things started going… wrong.

Casey began to feel unwell.

The man spoke, but the words were skewed.

The elevators opened into a large, curved hallway lined with floor-to-ceiling windows, the floor appearing to be polished granite, reflecting the sunlight of a mild day. There wasn’t anything to look at outside, though other portions of the building’s dark grey exterior were visible.

Casey ran, like prey in a hunt.

The man drew a knife, the predator.

A security guard watched them.

Casey’s feet followed what seemed to be a memory.

For a moment, the man seemed to almost catch her, but then suddenly he was a few feet back and she a few feet ahead, nearing the entrance to a room – perhaps an apartment. She flung the door open to get inside.

The security guard stood in the room.

The man was forgotten.

“Benrey?” Casey asked, incredulous and utterly confused.

“Sup.”

Casey looked back, and the man appeared for a moment, hazy and frozen in time, then was gone. “I- what?”

“Huh?”

“You parroting me again?” she whirled around, solely focused on them.

“Mehnehmneh”

“You- how did- does it even matter?” she looked back to the hallway, through large floor-to-ceiling windows, and then returned her gaze to Benrey multiple times.

Finally, Casey gave up trying to make sense of what just happened and sat on a couch – its colour a bright red – that was in the room, facing Benrey.

“Hello dead man,” she said.

“I’m not dead,” they replied.

“Whatever,” she flopped back on the couch, claiming half of it with her limbs. “You gonna keep standing there?”

“And if I do?”

“I don’t care.”

Benrey walked over and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, on the back.

Casey watched them, and frowned slightly at this. “Do you ever sit correctly?”

“Are you?”

“Fair enough.”

She let her head fall back on the armrest and stared at the ceiling – a plain grey, almost boring in that moment. She let her thoughts run on their own for a bit, a heavy feeling in her entire body.

Finally, she picked a thought that would work best: “Why are you here?”

“Why are you?”

She frowned. “I don’t like this circle-running. I asked first.”

“I asked second.”

“Stop that,” she sat up completely, glaring up at them.

“Stop what?” they looked the same as ever.

“You’re annoying.”

They didn’t reply to that, leaving a long moment of silence between them.

“What… is this place?” Casey cautiously asked.

“You made it so you should know.”

“What do you- I made this? How could I have made this?” Casey pulled herself up to something closer to a sitting position against the armrest, gesturing out to the building around them. “I don’t even know where we are!”

“I could change where we are if you don’t like it,” Benrey said. Not really an offer, but more of a statement.

“I mean…” Casey looked around. “Doesn’t really matter. Knock yourself out.”

She looked up at Benrey, and their expression changed ever so slightly from their usual lack thereof for a split second.

“Hold on-”

The scene around the pair changed. They were back on Xen – the alien homeworld – once again.

Casey fell on the ground with a yelp, caught off-guard and off-balance. Right at the edge of the platform, part of her legs hanging over the edge, Benrey doing the same. They quickly scrambled back from the emptiness, dragging themself across the strange material used for ground.

“What? Ugh, you know what, no, I’m not gonna ask,” Casey muttered after a moment. And then, “Actually, I am. _What?_ What did you just _do_?”

“Wha?”

“Don’t you- no, you don’t get to act all confused. _How_ did you do that?”

“Do what?” their expression was carefully empty.

“Dje- _Teleport me back to Xen!_ ” Casey gestured wildly at her surroundings. “That just- _it doesn’t make sense!_ ”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“ _Yes, it does-_ ” she brought her arms in front, emphasizing her words, only to cut herself off. “Hold up- what?”

Her arms were orange – the HEV suit. She looked down at herself: She was wearing the HEV suit. As she took in this information, the information changed.

_But on Xen it was an arm gun-_

Her arm turned into those familiar “tubes,” the all-too-familiar gun.

“It doesn’t have to make sense,” Benrey shrugged. “Dreams are like that.”

Oh. _Oh_. That sensation.

Casey became acutely aware of her limbs – her real limbs in _real life_ – paralyzed by the weight of sleep, though she could move however she wanted in this dream state.

Which was to get _away_ from Benrey.

She- Casey- he- Gordon- they- stumbled away from Benrey, their impassive stare, their _emptiness_ , their _coldness_.

“I- why am I not waking up,” it was Gordon’s voice. She brought her hand up to her throat, such a strange sound for her to hear. That ridiculous voice-alteration she had used during the game, just to make it easier to get in character, so that she’d hear the voice of _Gordon Freeman_ and not _her own_ -

She tripped. She landed on her arm-gun, feeling-but-not-feeling the metal collide with the spongy surface of the floating island.

That alien-like distance of her senses through the strange metal, even more distanced with the use of tech that only allowed the weakest facsimile of real-life senses. Even more broken when she could begin to feel the fabric and the weight on her real body-

It was too much, too real.

“ _Let me go_.”

She wasn’t sure what she meant, or why she said it, but she did. She begged for Benrey to just let her wake up in that moment.

Why else wouldn’t she be able to wake up?

She woke up.

­She woke up in her bed.

She woke up in her bed, in her home.

She threw off the sheets and sat up.

She wasn’t going back to sleep for a while.

The clock on her bedside table read [ _3:08 am_ ].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I actually used a dream I had myself to start this chapter  
> 2\. I can pronounce "dje" but I'm not even sure I transcribed it well  
> 3\. This was fun


	6. Great Minds Think Alike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But fools rarely differ.

The clock at Casey’s bedside read [ _3:11 am_ ] by the time they started to move again.

They left their room and made their way down to the kitchen. The guest room’s door was open a crack, and they could see the shape of sleeping figures on the bed, as well as the air mattress resting on the floor. They smiled slightly at the sight; at least they were resting.

In the kitchen, they found Gordon sitting at the counter, holding a mug in his hands. It was probably cold coffee, considering what they knew. Or it could have been soda. Gordon looked up, and they nodded to him as they walked by.

The clock read [ _3:16 am_ ].

The couch in the other room was pulled out into a bed, and Sunkist was sleeping peacefully on the floor next to it.

Light from outside filtered into the back of the house. Casey made their way to the end of the dining table closest to the window once they had grabbed a pen and paper, then sat down and wrote.

They wrote down what they could remember of their dream and their encounter with Benrey. Every detail from Xen stood out vividly – _too vividly_ , they thought, making note of this in their writing.

_Does this mean Benrey could be alive?_ They wrote, _Or is that wishful thinking? Does it even count as wishful? I thought we killed them – but almost everyone’s died in-game – but then… isn’t that still something… stronger that we did? And why ~~just be~~ would they just be in my dream?_

They paused, staring at their thoughts. They rested their chin in their hand, elbow resting on the table as their heavy eyelids slid closed for a moment, reminding them of the time. They glanced up at the kitchen clock: [ _3:43 am_ ].

Gordon stood up and turned on a lamp in the corner of the dining area, both of them wincing slightly at the change in brightness. He then walked over and sat beside Casey with his own pen and paper, a question already written: _Do you want to talk about it?_

In response, Casey slid their writing over to him, to allow him to read about their dream. However, they kept their gaze fixed on the empty table in front of them.

Gordon looked it over for a few minutes, then finally wrote, _So you think they might be alive?_

They shrugged. _No idea,_ they wrote on the same page. _Entirely possible, don’t you think?_

_Track record does say so_.

Their conversation paused their as they considered this. That, despite everything, Benrey might still be alive.

A thought occurred to Casey: _What’s keeping you up?_

Gordon sighed, writing briefly, _A habit from the game._

He continued after a moment, explaining, _Perhaps it was a sort of freedom. Being awake just because I could and wanted to, doing even a small bit of what I wanted._

He glanced up at Casey for a moment: they tilted their head and their brow creased gently as they read, taking in this information. He thought back to the game, and mentioned:

_I think that’s why you heard Benrey and Dr. Coomer’s conversation that one night – the “script” didn’t quite catch that you were playing, since I was lying there for a bit on my own and you hadn’t moved yet._

Casey hummed lightly, then wrote, _I’m glad I heard it. And I’m glad you had that time. Still, I think you should sleep now._

Gordon gave them a look, a cold hand on their shoulder, that seemed to say “You should, too.”

Not that they’d argue, since they yawned before they stood up. They glanced at the clock: [ _3:54 am_ ].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The document's at 20k words, I'm currently working on chapter 15. Longest work yet!  
> One question I've got for y'all: should I change character pronouns at all? (I tried a bit of they/them and neopronouns in my other HLVRAI work, "Final Boss.") It's up to you guys, really, since I don't mind continuing with a mostly he/him cast but at the same time, they don't really have to be, y'know?  
> Feel free to comment/critique if you'd like :> I love hearing from you guys <3


	7. Party’s Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry it's a day late! Slipped my mind.  
> Hope you enjoy <3

It was a late Saturday morning.

Casey was glad the Science Team plus extras showed up on a Friday night; it made the weekend available for helping them settle. In the real world as much as taking them to their supposed “real homes.”

In her room, she put headphones on and connected to a voice chat on her phone.

“Yo,” Casey said.

“Sup Sleeping Beauty,” a voice replied.

“Hah, I wish,” Casey smiled, putting her phone in her back pocket. “Wasn’t the best sleep, but I’ll live.”

“You’d better live or I’ll kill you,” they threatened.

She laughed at this for a moment, before changing tone, fidgeting with her hands as she glanced down. “Um, Moss, I actually kinda need your help.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“The AI – You know, that program I built for Half-Life,” she played with her hands, walking around her room a bit before leaning against her desk.

“Yeah? Those crazy characters, what about them?”

“They’re kinda… in my house. They’re real.”

There was a moment of silence before they replied, “Wait, actually? You’re not just making a joke to drag me over, are you?”

“Do you want a picture of the HEV in my house? Or of _literally_ any of them?”

“Naw, I’ll just come over. See you then,” they replied, proceeding to end the call.

Casey sighed, “Let’s just hope they don’t freak out.” They weren’t quite sure who they were referring to.

Downstairs, most of the science team was playing a card game. Forzen had gotten access to the WiFi at some point and decided to watch something from YouTube without headphones. Just so long as he didn’t blast it, Casey was fine with that. He was in a separate room anyways. Tommy wasn’t in the room, but they could hear him outside, playing with Sunkist. The scene before them made them smile.

Bubby noticed them standing there. “You gonna join us?”

“Hm? Nah, but I want to give y’all a heads-up: I’ve got a friend coming over,” Casey told them. “They’ve got a key. But, for now, I was wondering if I could just make note of your addresses, cuz I’m guessing you’ll want to go there.” They shrugged, running a hand through the hair on the back of their head. “This house wasn’t built for seven people and a dog, after all.”

“Ah, yes, the weird, not-messed-up parallel life we’ve got,” xe replied, grimacing. “It feels like someone’s messing with my head. Got double the memories I should have.”

They raised their eyebrows. “Really? That’s… weird.”

“Well, that’s our life now,” Bubby looked back down at his cards, switching most of xer focus away from memories.

Darnold added his own thoughts, “I keep getting the feeling that… our time at Black Mesa was more like some strange dream. But it can’t be, considering that you exist.”

“Human brains or alien interference with that game, who knows,” Casey commented. “Both are rather likely, don’t you think?”

Despite it being a dismissive comment, it froze the room.

“Alien interference?” Dr. Coomer asked.

They sighed, running a hand over their eyes. “Yesterday, uh… Gordon and I had a… chat, with an- with an unusual person. Probably an alien. Who implied he had something to do with the papers,” she looked over at the others. “Needless to say, I don’t really like him.”

No one spoke for a moment. Even Forzen picked up on the change in tone and was listening, video paused.

“He’s got time powers…” Casey started, thinking carefully. “Or something like it. That’s why my… attitude changed like that. Sorry.”

Bubby broke the awkwardness. “That’s impossible! …Isn’t it?” he looked around at the others.

“You do remember what Benrey did that one time, right?” Dr. Coomer asked. “Just before we went onto that alien world.” ~~~~

“They could see what Gordon and I saw, that you guys didn’t – assuming he’s seen the same as me. Right?” Casey looked over at the man in question, who nodded, reaffirming the statement. “Alright… Well, let’s just work on getting you guys home.” They shook their head, not wanting to dwell on the thought.

Casey grabbed some paper, and proceeded to copy down each person’s address as they gave them to her. When she checked that everybody had given them, she noticed that Tommy’s was absent; he was still outside with Sunkist.

At that point, they heard their front door unlock, the familiar sound of the bolt sliding out.

“Y’all expecting me?” Moss called out.

“Yeah they are,” Casey yelled back. “Get in here.”

“You’ve got a real party for once,” they joked, smirking at them. “Do I have to introduce myself?”

Casey rolled their eyes. “Folks, this is Moss, my friend. They know a bit about you already cuz they’ve watched me play the game.”

“Yo,” they gave a small salute, a lopsided grin still on their face.

“Hello, Moss!” Dr. Coomer grinned, with the same cadence as ever in its greeting.

“Hey Dr. Coomer,” Moss inclined their head.

They continued to greet each in turn, getting varying degrees of unnerved and pleasant reactions from each person.

“Tommy outside?” they asked, glancing towards Casey as they opened the fridge, grabbing a block of cheese.

Casey replied with a simple, “Yup,” popping the _p_.

Moss sat themself on the counter and reached over to Casey’s right, pulling a knife from its stand to cut themself a slice from the cheese. “You said something about needing my help,” they prompted, swinging their legs and gently hitting the cupboards below them.

Bubby looked at Casey. “Why not ask one of us?”

“You guys don’t exactly have vehicles, do you?” they fired back as Moss handed them a slice of cheese. “And looking at your addresses, you’re not a short walk away,” they took a bite, emphasizing the end of their sentence.

“You make a wonderful point,” Moss said with a slight sing-song tone. “I’ve got my car and you’ve got your van, so if you can plan out a map for the both of us, we could sort it out, right?”

“Before that, I’ll get Tommy in on the discussion,” Casey darted out of the room, making their way to the backyard as Moss struck up idle conversation with the rest of the AI.

Closing the door behind them, they watched Tommy play with Sunkist for a moment before calling out to him. He came over, Sunkist sticking to his side.

“We were discussing driving people home,” they glanced through the glass door, avoiding eye contact. “My friend Moss’ll take some people; I’ll take the others.” They shrugged as they spoke. “So… yeah.”

“Oh… okay,” Tommy replied.

Neither of them mentioned the lack of address as they re-entered the house.

“Alright, so how should we split the group?” Casey asked, looking over each of them once they’d returned to their previous position. “Bubby and Forzen, you two so far have been the ones fighting, so how about separate cars?”

“Fine by me,” Bubby shrugged.

Forzen nodded, “Better to be away from someone infuriating.”

Bubby’s voice rose in protest, “I am _not_ infuriating!”

“Yeah you are.”

“Don’t start a fight in the middle of business,” Casey cut them off. “So how do the others want to split?”

After some discussion and minor bickering, the trips were settled: Moss would take Forzen, Darnold, and Dr. Coomer, while Casey would take Gordon (plus his HEV suit), Bubby, and Tommy (along with Sunkist).

“Alright,” Casey said. “Um, before we go,” she held her phone in the air, “do you guys have numbers? To keep in touch if you want.”

“Yeah, of… of course we’ve got phones. It wouldn’t make sense if we didn’t,” Tommy replied, pulling out his own phone.

“I’ll write mine down, so you guys can send a message to me,” Casey told them. “And I can set up a Discord server for all of us to chat. And exchange numbers with the rest of the group, if you want.”

“Gonna let me in on it?” Moss elbowed Casey playfully, causing the other to laugh.

“Sure, if the rest are fine with that?” they looked around to see that others were fine with the idea. “Cool, great. So, let’s head off now, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You finally got to meet Moss! They're based on a few friends of mine, I think. Also one of my friends named them, since I didn't really have any ideas and it worked.  
> Feel free to kudos/comment as you'd like, I really appreciate you guys engaging with this story <3


	8. Home is Where the Heart is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The player and Tommy talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated pronouns, most characters still use he/him but there's also others/neopronouns added (I'll be updating the tags after this is posted)

After sorting out addresses, Casey decided to drop Bubby off at his place first. This led them to a house within walking distance of a school campus, in a quaint part of the suburban landscape. Trees lined the road, and every house had a bright green lawn. A few people were walking; some couples or groups of friends, and a few dogs were also in sight.

“We got a convenience or an eco prof?” Casey teased.

“Shut- what does it matter?” Bubby snapped, seemingly embarrassed by the observation.

“Hey man, walking is good for you!” they chuckled. “’Sides, this is a really nice-looking area.”

Bubby made his way out of the car stiffly, almost ignoring the others in the car.

“See you around!” Casey called after him, waving a little when xe turned back to look at them.

They watched as xe entered his place, and was greeted by a fluffy white cat. He reached down to pet it as he closed the door behind himself.

“Next stop, Gordon’s place?” they looked at the remaining passengers, who were in agreement with the plan.

The theoretical physicist lived in a small house, where Tommy stepped out for a minute with Sunkist while Casey and Gordon carried the HEV suit to his home. Thankfully, it was easy enough to set it in a corner.

“Alright, there we go,” Casey stood up, cracking their back slightly as they stretched it out. “Don’t forget about texting me. Do you… want to hang out, just the two of us, at some point?” they tilted their head to the side as they looked at him.

He nodded, and held up his own phone. _I’ll let you know_ , they believed he meant.

“Cool. Well, time for me to take Tommy home,” they waved, heading back the way they came. “See ya.”

Gordon returned the wave, closing the door behind them when they left.

Back in the car, they settled back as they watched Tommy return to the back seat. All that was left to do was to bring him home.

Which, they couldn’t exactly do without an address.

They glanced down at their dashboard and sighed, “Guess we’ll get gas first.”

They tried to watch Tommy through the rear-view mirror while they drove, though it was hard to read him. First of all, they couldn’t spare much time whenever they glanced in the rear-view mirror, and secondly, he often looked anxious – though maybe he looked a bit more nervous than usual? They couldn’t tell. Whenever they were stopped, they tapped on the wheel arrhythmically.

“You alright?” they finally asked, sitting at a red stoplight. They saw a gas station a short way, but they couldn’t hold off their own anxiousness at that point, still tapping the wheel.

“I… yeah, I’m okay,” he replied, glancing towards them. “Why?”

They let out a short breath, looking for the right words. “You, uh. I didn’t want to bring it up in front of anybody, but. You never gave me an address. Didn’t really talk about… whatever was on your paper. Y’know? Seemed like you felt awkward about it or just didn’t want to talk about it. Mention it. But we’re kinda, well, can’t really avoid it now, right?” It was more of a mess of words than “right” words, but hopefully they made enough sense to Tommy. Maybe they used too many words. Rambling when they’re nervous? It would make sense.

“Yeah, um…” he shifted around nervously.

They pulled into a parking space instead of immediately loading up the car with gas, waiting to hear what he had to say. The gas could wait, after all.

“I… I don’t want to- to go there.”

Casey remained silent, but watched him through the mirror and continued to listen.

“It does…n’t feel, like a home.”

They hummed in response to this.

“I don’t like being alone. Sunkist helps, but… I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to be alone.”

Casey thought for a moment before speaking up. “Is it… is it like that’s how it’s always been, or is this related… related to the game?”

“I don’t- don’t think that matters,” he replied. “May…be it’s both?”

They hummed. “Well… I wish I was more comfortable around dogs. I’d offer my place, but… Sunkist,” they ran a hand over their face. “Maybe… maybe if we went to your place, just to see if… maybe we can do something about it?”

“O…okay.”

Casey did their best to give him a reassuring smile.

Once they had filled up on gas, they looked up Tommy’s address and made their way to it: a small one-story house. They parked in the driveway and then stepped out, pocketing their keys as they walked around to Tommy’s side.

“You alright?” they asked.

He nodded, petting Sunkist absentmindedly on the head before making his way towards the building. Casey followed his lead, falling into step beside him.

The place was… unlived in, by Casey’s standards. There were things around to indicate someone lived there, but nothing more than the essentials. What surprised them most, once they had considered it, was that there weren’t any dog toys in sight. Did Sunkist not have any, or were they tucked away?

“Is there… is there anything you’d like to do?” Tommy asked, nervously playing with the hem of his shirt.

Casey shrugged. “Your place, your rule. Anything you want to do? I’m fine with just about anything.”

Eventually, the two decided on grabbing a deck of cards and teaching each other various two-player games they knew. They did interrupt their games with preparing some lunch and playing with Sunkist, finding some toys in a hallway closet.

Casey glanced at her phone, noticing that Moss had texted her earlier.

**[Moss: yo you gonna be back soon?]**

**[Moss: im gonna mess with your games >:3c]**

“I should probably head home,” she announced. “You’ll be alright tonight? We could hang out again tomorrow afternoon, if you’d like,” she offered. “I’m walking distance from here, whatever we decide.”

“Y-yeah, that sounds wonderful!”

She smiled.

After leaving Tommy’s house, Casey sat back in her car for a minute, looking towards the front windows. She watched the drapes sway in an open window, idly picking at her nails. After a moment, she pulled out her phone, typing out a message before tossing it onto the passenger seat.

**[Casey: better not have deleted my save files]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered today! :D


	9. Calm Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pause and think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I really stay up until midnight to post this? Yes, yes I did. Felt like doing it because I got quite a lot to do so I'd probably forget if I didn't post it now. Enjoy!

Casey unlocked their door, scanning through her latest messages and adding each new contact.

“Even Darnold and Forzen are still on board, huh,” they chuckled, chucking her keys into a basket in the entrance and sliding her runners off. “Thought they might’ve wanted to forget us.”

A teasing voice called out from deeper inside the house, “Oh, we got a player with too many numbers?”

“Shut up, we both know you’re the only one with dating experience!” Casey called back. “The only player I am is a pro gamer!”

“Fake pro!” Moss cackled.

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna set up the server before I forget.”

Casey dropped onto the couch next to Moss, who was playing some online shooter on her TV. She sent out a link to each of the AIs and Moss, then shifted her attention to the game on the big screen while leaving her phone open to the new group chat. It looked like a team setup, a sort of capture-the-flag with multiple checkpoints. Moss’ character was crouched near one, taking a sniper role. Overall, it was a pretty generic setup.

“When was the last time I’ve seen this?” Casey laughed. “I’m really PC-centric here.”

“I didn’t even look at your timestamp, I just joined a random one. I think there’s like, forty on it?” their sentences were divided as they tried to keep most of their concentration on the game itself. “Is this a pay-to-win?”

“Don’t think it is, but I also don’t remember,” she shrugged. “Maybe you’re just bad at it.”

She earned the increased annoying-ness of her friend deciding she’d make a good cushion, and she just laughed, accepting her fate. She looked at her phone, checking the group chat.

**[Bubby has joined Half-Life’s Real]**

**Bubby: Did you have to call it that?**

**[Dr. Coomer has joined Half-Life’s Real]**

**[Tommy has joined Half-Life’s Real]**

**[Gordon Freeman has joined Half-Life’s Real]**

**Gordon: it’s probably their sense of humour**

**Gordon: i thought you knew them?**

**Bubby: I knew “Gordon”**

**Bubby: Whoever that was that kept insulting my name.**

**[Darnold has joined Half-Life’s Real]**

**Gordon: casey’s the one who talked**

**Casey: thanks for insulting the title**

**Casey: what would you like me to call it?**

**Casey: “the AI server”?**

**Dr. Coomer: How about “The Science Team”?**

**Casey: you know what, let’s go for it**

**[Forzen has joined Half-Life’s Real]**

**[Casey changed the name of the server to “The Extended Science Team”]**

**Casey: y’all like it?**

**Gordon: yeah**

**Dr. Coomer: It’s wonderful!**

**Bubby: Better than before.**

**Casey: I’ll take what praise I can get**

**Dr. Coomer: That makes you sound a bit like your friend, Moss!**

**Casey: that’s exposure for you**

Casey set down her phone when Moss died in the game.

“GG dude,” she said.

“No it wasn’t.”

“Wanna just chill for a minute? Just comfy hour?” Casey wrapped her arms around Moss, forcing them to shift into a more comfortable position.

Moss set their controller aside and turned to look at her. “How’s the gang?”

“Seems like they’re all good. Why don’t you join the server?” she asked, poking them in the ribs, then shifted slightly. “Get off my leg, you’re gonna break it.”

Casey settled with watching their phone, and they seemed to have decided trolling the “extended science team” to be the best way to spend their time on the server. Granted, she did encourage them into doing it with every snort or chuckle their words drew out of her.

“Don’t bully my friends, man,” she finally said.

“What if they’re my friends too?”

“Let them have a say on that.”

Casey pulled herself out from under them, causing them to whine and try to drag them down.

“Chill, man, I’m just grabbing some food. Egg good?”

“Sanwisch,” they replied, “pwetty pwease.”

They batted their eyes up at her, now rolled onto their stomach, arms hanging over the end of the couch.

She rolled her eyes, walking into the kitchen as she declared, “Egg and cheese sandwich coming up.”

In the kitchen, Casey settled into a familiar routine, preparing food and listening to the sounds of Moss playing video games in the other room. She leaned back on the counter, taking in the world in that moment. The scent of the eggs frying, the warm sunset finding its way into the house, and the cool counter pressing into her palms. Her eyes drifted closed, a small smile of contentment finding its way onto her face.

It was peaceful, the domestic life she liked.

Opening her eyes again, she returned her focus to the task at hand, flipping the eggs over and turning on the toaster. Two meals, a sandwich and fried eggs with toast, were then set onto the table as she called to her friend.

“Meal time kiddo!”

“I’m older than you!” Moss called back.

The sounds of the game ceased a moment before Casey turned on the radio, tuning it to a generic music station, just some low background noise while they ate. The two were quiet for a few minutes, content with their food, before Moss spoke up.

“So. Quite the friends you’ve got now, eh?”

Casey hummed in agreement, twisting her fork around.

“I’m just wondering how you’ll handle that high energy over an extended period of time,” Moss mused. “Considering,” they pointed out, “your extreme introversion.”

Casey laughed. “Believe me, I was _exhausted_ last night, when they first appeared. If you can call it that.” They rested their chin on their hand and continued, “But it won’t be every day. I can handle that.”

“Alright, I believe you,” they smiled.

“It’s strange though. How we live in the same area, I mean,” she gestured around before taking another bite of her food.

Moss shrugged. “Well, how _did_ they show up in the first place?”

Casey tensed up, her gaze staying on her plate, stabbing another bite of egg with her fork.

“Casey?”

_What an interesting plate_ , she thought sarcastically.

“Casey,” Moss’ tone turned slightly pleading, shifting to try and catch her gaze. “What’s up?”

She swallowed, glancing to the place where she remembered G-man standing. “That… G-man,” she buried her face in her hands, food abandoned. “He… I don’t know. I don’t _want_ him to be real. He’s… _ugh_ ,” she groaned. “He implied _he_ did it, but you know how he seems, all that puppetry and control and time and _using_ Gordon-” she cut herself off, a choking sensation rising up her throat.

“Forget I ever asked that, then,” Moss leaned back and took another bite of their sandwich.

Casey grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and chugged it all in one go before she felt her throat open up again, and she took a deep breath before returning to her seat.

After another minute, Moss said, “Can I ask about Benrey? Still dead?”

They stilled again, though the thought didn’t make them tense up like G-man. “Well,” Casey glanced to the side, “do weird dreams count?”

“Weird dreams?”

“I don’t think they were supposed to be there,” they explained. “I was already breaking the dream, and then there they were. And then we were back on Xen. But…” they shook their head. “You ever wake up but don’t at the same time? Like, you know you’re asleep and you know you _should_ wake up but you don’t? Maybe not, but that’s what happened.”

“Huh.”

“So like, is Benrey alive? Is that how they were in my dreams? Or am I somehow _wishing_ for that guy to be alive?” they laughed mirthlessly. “Like a masochist but with keeping people alive. Why do I want them alive? Do I or is that a nightmare?”

“Um. Uh. Well,” Moss stammered. “Mmmaybe you should just not worry right now?”

“Hah. Yeah. Probably.”

After their meals were finished, Moss ended up heading home, leaving Casey to themself for the time being.

It didn’t bother them, though they noticed the strange silence after having had so many people under their roof for an extended period of time. With some of their own music playing, they sang to themself as they walked around, cleaning up after their guests and getting themself ready for bed.

They played some video games for a while, casually running through familiar environments to occupy their time, avoiding thinking about anything else.

Eventually, they noticed the time: [ _11:20 pm_ ]. They sighed, stretching out before shutting down their computer and curling up under the covers of their bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I suppose this was a slower chapter, addressing a lot of thoughts, settling down a bit. But hey, exposition's important, right?  
> If you enjoyed, feel free to kudos/comment! I have fun interacting with y'all in the comments :>


	10. Dawn of Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep is no friend of the player.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna start doing content warnings, for this chapter I think they’re mild/I could be wrong so I’ll put them in the end notes.
> 
> Also y'all get this at a reasonable time bc I slept well, have no immediate obligations, life is good :> Hope y'all are having a good day too!

Casey was walking through a mall, hanging out with a friend of theirs. It felt normal, to be wandering through the stores, talking about different things they saw or thought, sharing old jokes between each other.

Their friend caught a tarantula that was on her bag, laughing as she held it in her hands. It was the size of her palm, and looked like its name – “Mr. Friendly” – despite Casey being startled by its initial appearance.

The two kept wandering through the mall, until Casey accidentally bumped into somebody.

Casey glanced up, and the apology they had started died on their lips. Instead, all they said was, “Benrey.”

They still wore that security uniform, the shade of their helmet hiding the details of half their face. Despite almost looking like they could have been employed by the mall, their features screamed _inhuman_ so much so that it couldn’t be ignored.

“It’s me,” they grinned, sharp teeth revealing themselves.

Casey took a step back, swallowing. They weren’t sure how to react. They felt more like a deer in the headlights, or a rabbit staring down a wolf.

Benrey didn’t seem to like this reaction, their expression turning into a pout. “Aw, not gonna talk to your best friend? Best bro? No hello?”

“You tried to kill me,” was all Casey could think of.

“Epic gamers respawn,” they replied, shrugging. “You an epic gamer? Huh? Got that PS+ ranking?”

Casey had no idea what they were talking about at this point, and just shook their head. “I can’t do this. I can’t deal with this. This is,” they looked around, realizing the mall was empty aside from the two – even their friend had disappeared – and swallowed. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Doesn’t matter. Already told ya, they don’t gotta, _friend_.”

“Nope, not dealing with this,” Casey turned around, walking away from Benrey. “If this is a dream, I do _not_ want to deal with Xen again.”

“We don’t have to go there. We could stay here.” Benrey fell into step next to them. Which really meant they were vaguely following their pace, though moved around to look at other things then moving back towards them periodically. “Boring here. Wanna go somewhere else? Somewhere else please?”

Casey’s pace slowed as they thought, gaze fixed on the maybe-tiled floor of their dream. The world warped slightly, everything except for Benrey becoming blurry. “I can feel my body, you know,” Casey told them. “I don’t like that.”

“Calm down, man,” they replied, frowning at a particularly indecipherable storefront.

“No,” they snapped, stopping completely. “I, for once, am perfectly calm despite you. And you get to listen to me when I’ve got a _problem_.”

“Wh-huh?” they turned around, stopped a few paces ahead of them.

“It feels like _you’re_ trapping me here,” they took a step forward. “Knowing I’m asleep yet I can’t wake up?” they gestured around at the faded world with another step. “I feel _trapped_.” Casey was standing right in front of them. “And I _don’t like that_ ,” their voice dropped to a low growl, maintaining eye contact with the inhuman being.

Their eyes glowed from beneath the shade of their helmet. While their expression didn’t change, their eyes turned teal for a moment.

Casey woke up.

They stared at the ceiling for a moment, processing their dream before groaning and digging the heels of their palms into their eyes.

They turned to check the clock: [ _5:14 am_ ].

They rolled away from it, staring into the darkness of their room. It was too early to start the day. But when they closed their eyes, their mind reminded them of Benrey, trapping them in their dreams. No matter how close they got to sleep, their mind refused to settle down.

With a sigh, they sat up and swung their legs out of bed, staring at the light that found its way past their curtains.

They checked their clock again: [ _5:47 am_ ].

_Might as well do something_ , they decided.

The “something” ended up being organizing “The Extended Science Team” server for some time.

They were working on this long enough that Dr. Coomer noticed that they were awake.

**Dr. Coomer:** Good morning, Casey!

Casey snorted, glancing outside. It was still dark – though maybe the sky was a bit brighter? They typed up a response to match their mood.

**Casey:** the sun’s not up, i’d rather not be

**Dr. Coomer:** How unfortunate! I do enjoy a good early morning!

**Casey:** you certainly have the energy to match that. how long _did_ you sleep?

**Dr. Coomer:** Four hours!

**Casey:** how are you alive. do you usually do that?

**Dr. Coomer:** Correct!

**Dr. Coomer:** I require less sleep than the average human!

**Casey:** is this some Power™ thing?

**Dr. Coomer:** Nope! It’s perfectly natural!

**Dr. Coomer:** I am doubtful you can say the same.

**Casey:** if only i had an excuse

**Casey:** but i don’t.

Casey continued to stare at the screen for a few moments, watching as the server indicated that Dr. Coomer was writing. They blinked slowly, letting their eyes stay closed for a few seconds before the memory of Benrey in their dreams made them snap their eyes open. They looked over their shoulder, at the unmade bed. For a second, it looked like there was someone lying in it, but when they blinked again, the blankets were arranged much like what their brain had thought was a person.

_Pattern recognition_ , their mind supplied.

By the time they refocused on their screen, Dr. Coomer had sent a message.

**Dr. Coomer:** Would you mind using the Discord Voice Chat™?

**Casey:** Sure, why not

Casey grabbed her headset, which she had left hanging off the corner of her monitor, and put it on as she connected to the voice chat. She stayed quiet, unsure of what to say while expecting Dr. Coomer to have something to say itself.

“Hello, Casey!”

“Hey, Dr. Coomer,” she replied automatically.

“I believe it would be best to be upfront: considering your desire to be asleep, and yet not doing so, has given me reason to be concerned.”

Casey let out a breathy laugh, devoid of any joy. “You are perceptive, aren’t you,” she shook her head. “I mean, maybe I can. But let’s just say that if it happens again, three’s the charm, right?” she buried her face in her hands, still trying to force small traces of sleep away.

“If you don’t mind my asking… would you be willing to share what happened with me?”

Her shoulders dropped, and she took a breath. “I… I have told Gordon… when you were all staying over, I – it sounds stupid – I had a dream. Benrey was there. And considering what I just woke up from, I’m pretty sure… no, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Dreams don’t have to-” Dr. Coomer started, but then Casey cut him off.

“I know. They already told me that much.”

Her eyes widened as she realised what she said, and she pulled away from her computer. She swallowed.

“I never remember what anyone says in my dreams.” She took a breath, thinking back on what dreams she could remember. “The closest I get is remembering what _I_ say.”

“Perhaps the change in Benrey’s DNA altered more than we can understand,” it suggested.

Casey didn’t answer for a few moments. She recalled, “You were right, though. Not wanting to talk about this in a way that would stay. I probably would have deleted the messages.”

“If there is ever a time you would like to talk about this, I’m willing to be there.”

“Thanks, Dr. Coomer.”

“You can call me Harold, you know,” Casey could feel his smile in the tone it used. “That is my name!”

She hummed. “I am more used to calling you Dr. Coomer, but we’ll see. Harold.”

“No worries, I was merely informing you of the option.”

“Alright,” she smiled.

There were a few moments of silence between the two of them, which was broken by Dr. Coomer’s cheery voice, startling Casey out of her head.

“Well, if you’re alright with it, I wouldn’t mind getting a good start to my day!”

“Sure thing, I guess I will too. Seeya,” she offered a sheepish smile to the screen, though she knew the other couldn’t see it.

Casey left the call, and sat there for a while longer, even as the sun became clearly visible over the houses, letting herself get lost in thought.

_Well, at least no one’s acting like I’m crazy_ , she thought, _yet_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: spider mentioned being there, dream-reality, humans pattern recognition (shadow being something else)
> 
> If y'all liked the read, feel free to drop a kudos/comment <3 love hearing your thoughts.  
> (Apparently my next update is scheduled for Jan. 1, I just find that amusing. New Year's update)
> 
> Side note, I'll probably start posting a new (hlvrai) series next week, so it'll mostly alternate with these updates if I manage to keep ahead of its schedule. I'm aiming for that one to be more oneshot-oriented, but it's all the same timeline/au. I'm just letting you know in case you're interested ^u^


	11. Quality Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The player spends a day with Tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! Funny to think I've only been in this fandom in the past four-ish months - and that HLVRAI is less than a year old!  
> (I’ll throw the gist of the chapter in the end notes, in case there’s anything warranting more of a content warning – I don’t think there is, but better to be safe about it)

Casey looked at the bottle of Coke they were holding, weighing it in their hand.

She sighed, “I’m gonna need the caffeine,” as they twisted the cap open and taking a few quick gulps.

It was eight-thirty in the morning, and they couldn’t procrastinate any longer after their pre-dawn wake-up call and chat with Dr. Coomer. (They doubted they’d get used to calling him Harold.) They had even taken a shower to try and take longer getting ready for the day, just to let their mind sit on idle for a while longer, but here they were. Bargaining with themself that caffeine would offer them some sort of temporary replenishment for their lost sleep. Though she much preferred sleep to any possible alternative the world had to offer.

Glancing at her phone, she noticed a text from Gordon.

**[Gordon: hey, any particular day you want to hang out? could do wed-fri. or saturday]**

She leaned back against the counter, a small smile finding its way onto her face as she typed her response.

**[Casey: what about Friday for the whole team? the two of us could do Thursday then]**

There wasn’t a text from Tommy, but she remembered saying she’d hang out with him today, so they took the initiative.

**[Casey: mornin Tommy ^-^]**

He responded rather quickly, which made them hope he hadn’t been waiting or woken up by them.

**[Tommy: Hello Casey!]**

**[Tommy: How are you?]**

**[Casey: I’m good, you?]**

**[Tommy: I slept okay.]**

Casey frowned slightly. The word choice made them feel like Tommy wasn’t doing too well in his house. Hopefully they’d do something together to make it feel more like a home today. That’s what they wanted – a happy Tommy, and they thought that maybe giving the house better memories would help. They opted to simply try and find out what he might like to do.

**[Casey: so I said I’d hang out with you today, yeah? What would you like to do?]**

**[Tommy: I thought you said in the afternoon?]**

Subconsciously they shrugged, their head bobbing in acknowledgement of the difference from their earlier plans, even if they had been vague.

**[Casey: usually I’m up late, but today ended up being early]**

**[Casey: really, it’s up to you when you want to hang out, I can do whenever]**

**[Tommy: Oh okay :). Want to come over?]**

**[Casey: sure. I’ll walk, so expect me in 15-30 min since I’m bad at estimates]**

**[Casey: I could text en route when I’m close?]**

**[Tommy: That sounds good :)]**

**[Casey: see you soon : >]**

Casey pocketed her phone, then grabbed her keys and wallet. Before heading towards her door, she considered what she could bring with her. She opted for a small bag with a package of store-bought cookies and a couple cans of soda, hoping they’d be a nice treat to share at some point. Or just give to Tommy so he could enjoy them later. She added her already opened bottle of coke as an afterthought.

She paused at her door, double-checking that she had the right address and a map to Tommy’s house. And then she began her walk.

It had been a while since she’d walked with a purpose, so they ended up creating more landmarks in their head on their way to Tommy’s. Even though they’d lived here for a good few years, she didn’t necessarily take in particular locations or directions and keep them in a proper “mental map.” They noticed the way the air was still cool, though the sun was warming them up already. The feeling made them smile, pulling their denim jacket closer to their skin. One of those details in life she learned to appreciate, making the world that much happier for them.

Soon enough they recognised the street name, so she sent Tommy a quick text ( **[eta <5]**) as she kept walking. And then she saw Tommy open his door, Sunkist at his side.

“Hey Tommy!” they smiled, giving him a small, two-fingered wave.

He waved enthusiastically in return, also matching their smile. “Hi Casey! It’s nice to- to see you, even though we- we were hanging out… yesterday.”

“Friends are like that, aren’t they?” Casey finally closed the gap, and petted Sunkist’s head when he moved closer to her, sniffing gently at her leg.

“Um- is there any… anything you’d like to do?” Tommy asked, fidgeting with his hands and watching Sunkist.

They shrugged, their gaze wandering down the street. “It’s really up to you. Could try playing some card games, just sit and chat, or go for a walk – take Sunkist to a park, maybe?”

“That’s- that sounds like a good idea,” Tommy nodded along. “I’ll go get Sunkist’s leash!” he dashed back into the house, leaving the door slightly ajar.

“How is he, Sunkist?” Casey looked down at the dog, kneeling to his level. “I really hope he’s okay here, you know? Maybe I’m messing up, but I really don’t know what I’m doing…” she trailed off. “And Gman says he’s his dad? Also called himself an orphan. That’s not good, I’d say.” They stopped talking when they heard Tommy open the door again, turning their head in his direction.

They stood as he locked the door and made his way over, leash in hand. He clipped it to the ever-patient animal, and Casey began to lead the way towards the nearest park she remembered.

“Do you know anything about the area? Like a mental map?” Casey asked, thinking back to what Darnold and Bubby had mentioned.

“Not- not really,” he replied. “It’s hard to remember.”

They shrugged, looking down the street and noticing another person walking across the road. “Makes sense in the way things don’t,” they decided.

“That sound like- sounds like something… something Benrey would say.”

They tilted their head up, watching Tommy somewhat from the corner of their eye. His gaze was turned towards the ground as he played with Sunkist’s leash in his hand. They reflected back on their words as they looked back down the sidewalk.

“Huh. I guess they would.”

A silence fell between the two of them, though Casey couldn’t tell whether it was comfortable or not. Their mind was too preoccupied, wandering faster than they could decide to speak. _Hey, Benrey might still be alive-_ not a good thing to bring up, they really didn’t want to talk about that. _So, what sorts of things_ do _you know?_ It felt strangely rude, and even Tommy might not know all the answers, given the weird nature of his existence. An existence that happens to have Benrey in their dreams, maybe? Again, don’t bring up Benrey, after all, it was just two nights in a row after _extremely_ weird events with the other AI, which maybe their brain wanted to fill in the blank with _something_ -

“Do you think the others are settling in alright?”

“Huh?” they looked over at Tommy for a second, working their way out of their thoughts. “Oh, yeah, probably, it’s not like there wasn’t some assistance and it’s just been a day so we don’t really know and it’ll take a while longer to know for sure,” they didn’t realise until they took a breath that they had just let their mouth run along with their thoughts. “I mean, I was thinking… Friday? All of us? Probably my place?"

As they almost anticipated, the older man blinked as he processed their words. A small smile formed as he nodded, “Y-yeah, Friday sounds like a good idea! Have you asked them yet?”

“Just Gordon,” they replied. “I’ll probably send a message on the server. Ask ‘em all at once something more concrete. Like a dinner at six or something. Or maybe after-dinner seven? They can pick what they want, though. Range of time. Vague and chill. Just a hangout, right?”

They shoved their hands in their pockets, fingers wrapping around their phone when they felt it. Should they check what Gordon thought? Probably not, that would be rude to Tommy. And they wanted to focus on helping him be more comfortable with whatever this situation was. Whatever you could call “becoming real less than forty-eight hours ago after living through some sort of sci-fi apocalypse.”

“That sounds good.”

Casey hummed, at the same time they arrived at an open field. “Time to play with Sunkist?” they asked, and Sunkist perked up at those words, tail wagging.

Tommy knelt down and took Sunkist off his leash before pulling a blue ball out of his pocket, throwing it across the grassy field. The dog took off, turning into little more than a golden streak.

Amused by his excitement, Casey grinned. “Nice shot,” they commented.

Tommy rubbed the back of his neck. “I practiced a lot with Sunkist.”

“I can see that. He’s fast, too!”

“I made him to be fast!” he exclaimed. “I think it makes him more perfect.”

They nodded along, silently accepting that whatever the game’s lore contained, it would likely exist in the real world too. When that thought occurred to them, they asked aloud, “Do you think Darnold’s potions would work here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Fair enough. Not sure I’d want to find out, either,” their hand drifted to their arm, around the place their – Gordon’s – arm had been cut off. They were glad they didn’t have to experience it in real life, but they worried if Gordon had felt that pain. Did _he_ forgive Bubby, like they had?

“Are you- are you okay… Casey?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah,” they stuttered, “I’m okay. Why?”

“You… you seem a- a little distracted,” he explained.

Sunkist had returned, and they decided to throw the ball this time. He obediently dropped it into their hand without a fight, and they threw it as hard as they could. They kept watching for a moment longer.

“I guess I’m still… processing the past couple of days. And the game.” They didn’t look at Tommy, instead focusing on the view. They could see the river from here, the sunlight reflecting off of the surface, other park-goers dotting the field. The sky was rather clear, just the right number of clouds to make it look like a typical “perfect day” and a mild breeze to keep it from being too warm.

“…Oh,” he said. “Um, do you, want to talk about it?”

“Mh…” they ran a hand over the side of their face. “I wanted today for you, Tommy… I don’t need to talk about me right now. Maybe later, but… not now,” they shook their head. “Not now.”

“Okay.” The look on his face felt like something Casey could compare to that of a kicked puppy, which was the exact opposite of what they wanted.

“I- sorry? I didn’t- I don’t want to ruin your day, I- I don’t think I expected this. It’s…” they tried to articulate their thoughts, but nothing comprehensible wanted to form in their mind.

“It’s okay!” Tommy exclaimed. “I just don’t want to be a- a bad friend and I don’t want you to be… to be upset.”

“I’m- I’m not! It’s- hah, you’ve only seen me in freak-out overdrive, huh.” They rubbed the back of their neck, their fingers gripping their hair slightly. They gave Tommy a rueful smile as they shrugged, “I guess I’ve been a mess. I promise I’m fine! I- I think a lot, when I can. I just… do that.” Their hands moved with their words, gesturing vaguely at nothing before falling limp at their sides. With an honest smile, they looked up at Tommy and told him, “You are a good friend, Tommy. Don’t doubt that.”

After a few more throws of the ball, the pair sat down on the grass, Sunkist panting quietly next to them. They continued talking, Casey prompting Tommy for any plans he might have, what his job was, and as many ridiculous things they could think of.

Eventually, Casey glanced at her phone to see the time, “We should probably eat. Or something at least.”

“Do you want to go to a restaurant? Or- or go back to my place?”

“I’d like your place. Don’t want a restaurant’s wait time,” they stuck out their tongue. “Now that I know I’m hungry, I gotta munch. Lil cracker at least.”

“Okay,” Tommy stood up, re-clipping Sunkist’s leash. “Let’s go.”

The rest of the day felt more like a blur to Casey: walking back to Tommy’s place, eating a simple meal, playing video games with Tommy on his TV for the entire afternoon, and then finding themself back at home, the sun mostly hidden behind the many houses.

Feeling happy but drained, they ate a small meal in their room, reading a story familiar to them before going to sleep early. They needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary/gist of chapter: Casey spends her time with Tommy, and ends up contemplating reality and the game and what that means. Not in a super existential way, though. Just more curious.
> 
> Not the happiest about the ending of this chapter? But hey, all writing is practice and I'm having fun :>
> 
> Oh, and I'm also wondering about giving Tommy he/it pronouns? Or maybe I'll stick to he/him. Don't really know what I want to do, so I'll leave it up to your opinions to sway me :> (could possibly do other pronouns, or remove them in the future).


	12. No Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That’s mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a thanks to a pal outside of this fandom for helping me out a bit with ideas for the flow of this chapter (and chapter titles).  
> CW in the end notes

Casey rubbed at her eyes, forcing them to stay open as she stared at the open program. She could barely read the language anymore, and they were pretty sure it wasn’t even noon yet. Was it Wednesday? It felt like a Wednesday. They checked. Nope, it was a Thursday.

“Right,” she muttered to herself. “Gordos time tonight.”

“You alright Casey?” a co-worker approached her desk.

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I- no,” she sighed, dropping her head into her hands. “I’ve been losing sleep all week.”

“Ouch,” they winced in sympathy. “Maybe you should work from home? You know Josh’d be fine with it. Or even a sick leave if you’re so exhausted,” they glanced down at their desk. “…You don’t usually drink coffee.”

“Yeah, it’s disgusting,” she replied, taking a sip of the mug. “But if people have noticed now,” she grimaced, “guess I can’t avoid my problems like I wanted to.”

“And usually, you’re more up front about struggling. You can call me if you ever want to talk,” they smiled sympathetically. “I’ll take the brunt of this project for a while, yeah?”

“Alright. I’ll drop by Josh and scram,” she closed her computer after a minute, picking up her bag and heading off.

“Call someone or take the bus,” they called after her, and she simply waved in response.

\---

She really wished she could sleep better. But for some reason, Benrey had shown up again and again. Every night. She became less and less inclined to go back to sleep whenever they had shown up and – however strange dreaming was – woken them up. She had begun to associate sleep with them, which really messed with her head – not wanting to sleep because sleep meant dreams meant Benrey meant less sleep… It wasn’t ideal. She wasn’t sure what to do about it.

But maybe sleeping during the day would be different?

She just barely registered the trip home, managing to make it to her room and set an alarm before just collapsing on her bed, curling herself in a tangled mess of blankets.

\---

Casey scrunched her face up, curling into her pillow for a few seconds as her alarm cheerily nagged her to get up. After all, it was an hour before she’d be going over to Gordon’s for dinner.

At that mental reminder, she sighed in relief – she was really glad he had agreed that eating in would be a better idea. Just a casual hangout, nothing extravagant like a restaurant. She really didn’t want to go out anywhere.

Dragging her body out of bed, she thought over what to change into – jeans and flannel were good, right? Casual but not what most people would say made you “look like a slob.” Though she quite frankly didn’t care. She had worn sweats to work in the dead of winter, after all. Josh laughed at it, but encouraged “comfortable work clothes,” as he put it. More that he laughed in surprise and good nature, anyways. The “professional” look was for external meetings only.

Considering the time and distance, she grabbed her keys – she slept the afternoon away, so she was sure she was alert enough – and headed out the door.

It was just past five-thirty when she pulled up in front of Gordon’s home, and she stretched the moment she was standing outside of her car. It also elicited a yawn, which she attempted to supress as much as she could as she walked towards the front door, on a pleasant stone-paved pathway. She was tired, but she had slept a while. She stopped just before she reached the front door.

She had slept, and she hadn’t dreamt a thing.

The realisation felt amazing, and she let out a soft laugh. No dreams, no Benrey. The relief fueled the bounce in her step to cover the short distance left before ringing the doorbell.

“Hey Gordon,” they said as soon as they saw the young scientist open the door.

He returned their smile, opening the door and gesturing for them to come in. With his phone in his left hand, he sent a message to Casey.

**[food’s just about ready]**

“Nice,” they grinned, once they had read it.

Casey followed him through his house, towards the kitchen – a table was already set out for the meal. It didn’t seem like much, but that didn’t bother them. The kitchen smelled delicious.

“Whadjya make?” they asked.

**[mac n cheese]**

“Sweet,” they grinned, flapping their hand by their side, filled with excitement. They were really happy to be there, and the energy was starting to give them that itch to move.

Gordon gestured for them to sit down at one of the chairs, which they obliged. Once the food was ready, he brought the dish out of the oven and set it on the table. It was large enough for leftovers, but not unreasonably large to serve to two people. He handed a large spoon to Casey, who promptly served herself a decent helping of the cheesy mix.

**[you’re quite cheery, what gives?]** Gordon asked, raising an eyebrow as he took the serving utensil from them.

“I- hm. Y’know that dream I had? With Benrey?”

Gordon nodded, waiting for them to continue.

They took a bite as they thought over how they’d phrase their next words, and what they’d include. “They, uh. Kept coming back. I had a nap before coming over and they weren’t there.” They shrugged, suddenly self-conscious, “I… I guess it’s just how much I’ve been lacking in the sleep department, you know?” After a few more bites, they said, “This is delicious, by the way. Oven-baked is magic, isn’t it?”

Gordon’s face looked kind of serious. Kind of… concerned. They glanced at their phone, but they knew Gordon hadn’t texted anything. He probably didn’t know what to say. He picked up his phone.

**[that’s more concerning than a single night.]**

“I know. But there’s nothing I can do about it,” they leaned onto their chin. “I’d rather not go nocturnal, either. Should I dig around for a psychology on recurring dreams? Or… it’s a recurring character in varying dreams?”

He was still holding his phone in his hand. The young man kept glancing between trying to type something and looking at them, and the feeling in the room forced Casey’s gaze down to their food, which they quietly ate, waiting for whatever he had to say.

The screen lit up, and the words froze them.

**[it could be processing trauma]**

They set their utensil down, still staring at it. _Trauma._ Could…

“Can you even get trauma from a _video game?_ ”

Gordon shrugged, glancing down to the right. He had lived in the game, and his arm _was_ a prosthetic, now that they were properly paying attention to detail. They couldn’t exactly argue with him, about the idea – dwelling on things in your dreams did tend to be a good indicator of trauma, but…

“I thought trauma would be like. Nightmares. Maybe running down Black Mesa halls. Not… not just casually walking around with this security guard in places my mind made itself. Only the first dream took me to Xen. They haven’t done anything other than… mess up the dreams by _being_ there…”

He reached across the table, resting a cool hand on top of theirs, which had curled into a fist. They stared down at the contact in surprise, looking up at him. His expression was gentle, the kind of expression that seemed to say _I’m here_. Reassuring.

It was okay. They were okay. They’d be okay.

They took a breath, offering him a shaky smile. His smile, steadier, returned theirs as he leaned back, the two of them returning to their food.

It was an easy silence between the two of them, Casey noticed. They didn’t feel the need to fill the silence, simply enjoying the moment as it was.

When they finished, Casey helped clean up the meal’s dishes, and the two sat on the couch. Gordon turned on the TV, pulling up a streaming service to pick a movie, Casey curling herself against the opposite armrest from him.

“Yo, Arrival,” Casey pointed out, “nice.”

Gordon raised an eyebrow, tilting his head somewhat towards them.

“I might run commentary on this one, I watched it like three times in one week I liked it so much,” she chuckled. “Or you can keep looking.”

He responded via texting.

**[why not sit over here so I can run commentary as well?]**

She shrugged, “Yeah, sure.” Halfway out of her position, she asked, “Like, sit next to you or can I…” they gestured vaguely.

Gordon tilted his head to the side inquisitively. This made them groan internally, trying to get past their awkwardness and failing miserably.

“Nevermind,” they shook their head, scooting over so she was sitting next to the theoretical physicist. She kept her distance, still unsure of what his boundaries were and choosing to be careful. It wasn’t like they had really gotten to know _Gordon_ during the game.

The two, now in new positions, watched the movie.

Even though the movie was about two hours, the commentary and pauses required to really point out details led them to spending three hours sitting and going through the film, occasionally rewinding particular scenes to observe details or point out possible flaws (because no matter how much you love a movie, something could go wrong) and having an occasional laugh.

Casey ended up leaning against Gordon, his arms resting over their shoulders, phone in hand while Casey had taken control of the remote.

When the credits were rolling, they realised this and panicked for a moment, but stayed where they were. He hadn’t pushed her away, so they guessed it was okay? There was enough hesitation that they just kept laying there, in a quite comfortable silence aside from the musical score that went with the scrolling names.

**[gonna get up?]** Gordon held his phone up so that they could read it.

“I dunno… it’s comfy,” they replied. “Unless you really wanna get up?” they looked up at him, and by his expression they figured he was perfectly content staying there for a while longer. It _was_ really comfortable on the couch.

Leave it to Freeman to have a blanket within reach, too. He draped it over them and she looked up in confusion, but he merely shrugged before moving to take off his prosthetic and set it on the coffee table. Casey curled up slightly, settling in further as Gordon pulled the ponytail out of his hair. Being tired for nearly a week was enough that she didn’t mind taking this opportunity to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Does sleep deprivation count? Also a brief serious discussion in regards to Casey's dreaming. (lmk if there's anything I missed/should elaborate on)
> 
> \---
> 
> Casey. Casey no. That’s not enough sleep to drive safely. You are a lucky fool.
> 
> For some time, I had no clue how to write the shift to Casey and Gordon cuddling on the couch, but yeah. I got some help from a pal on Discord for how to figure it out, so thanks very much to them!
> 
> I think my writing has slowed down a little bit for this story (dw there's still a lot in the "queue" to post!), but at the same time I have been busy with a bunch of other things. Still, hope you're enjoying this!


	13. Makes You Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreaming again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a friend of mine for telling me their dreams :> I like to pick ones that flow with the other ideas, and I just liked how this dream sounded.  
> CW in the end notes

Casey wandered through bookshelves, tall and distinguished. Despite the ornate look of the place, she was focused on the books themselves. One particular title caught her eye, so she picked it up and entered the story.

Unfortunately, someone else had joined her, and the two stood face to face for a few moments on a glass bridge, next to a staircase. They grabbed the other’s hand and led them down the spiralling stairs, finding some hats with numbers that indicated what their job was.

To make matters worse, the other had a different number from her, separating them. She began to worry, knowing they were responsible for the other being there in the first place. They wouldn’t be able to get them out if they weren’t together, which just added to her worry.

They sat in a transport, glancing to where they knew the other was periodically and fidgeting with their hands in their lap.

The moment they saw blue, however, reality came back all too quickly.

Despite this, the security guard was a few seats away, so they tried to ignore them. They turned their back to Benrey, trying to focus on the dream world. It was hard to follow the stuttering dialogue of others around them, unfortunately. And it felt like the other had noticed; they sensed them walking in their direction.

“What,” they growled.

“Yo, you knew I was there?”

They began to stand up, finally turning towards them. “Yes, what ab-”

“Niiiiice.” There’s that stupid smug look again.

Casey sputtered, unable to properly respond to that. Their mind cast back to the time they had admitted to killing people in the game, early on. Before Benrey had been anything other than a nuisance. This reminder caused their frustration to bubble up, and they shoved the being back.

“Stay. Away. From. Me.”

They were sick of them. They were sick of this constant loss of sleep, this nightmare that was too close to real for comfort. Too vivid, too much like reality to cast aside. Too frequent to ignore. This entity too _alive_ to ignore every time they showed up in their dreams.

For once, they listened to Casey. They stayed back, a more or less respectful distance as opposed to their usual closeness.

Casey refused to stop, though. “Why are you doing this?” they snapped.

“Can’t friends talk?”

“Last time someone said that,” she smiled, though it was more of a snarl, “you got my arm cut off.” She tilted her head to the side, hunching over slightly like a cornered animal.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“I don’t care. I _don’t_ care,” one hand came up, as though to block them from her view. “You just- you didn’t even _admit_ to knowing what happened!” she flung her arm out to emphasize her point.

“Wow,” Benrey deadpanned. “Not even letting a buddy say sorry, huh.”

“We’re not _buddies, pal_ ,” she hissed. “Not even close. Take the hint. Or you can’t?” she leaned back, throwing her arms out. “Why’s that? Why can’t you ever take a hint?”

They seemed to say something, but she didn’t hear it over the sound of the sweetvoice that slipped from their mouth, a glowing blueish-purple and green hovering in the air.

She let her arms fall, frowning as her mind tried to put meaning to the mumbled incoherence. “What?”

The inhuman swatted the bubbles away, some moving and others popping against the back of their hand, looking directly at Casey. The way they shifted gave Casey the sense that their words weren’t the same as what they had previously said. “You let me stay in your dreams.”

“ _What?_ ” she took a step back. The hair on the back of her neck raised up, every nerve ready to move into overdrive. _Letting_ them ruin her sleep? “So, what, you’re a vampire now? Can’t do anything without permission? Yeah, right. Like I’d let you wreck my life like that.”

Benrey leveled their gaze with hers. Though their face was usually flat, their expression… that was dead serious. Their eyes flashed some other colour for a moment, giving them an even greater appearance of a predator. They had gone rigid, their posture becoming more intimidating.

Casey took another step back, this time in apprehension, her back straightening with the motion.

“Why else would I be here.”

Casey looked away from them only to notice they were standing in an absence. Her gaze snapped back to them, focusing on their security vest. They didn’t want to think about this void they were in. She dug through her mind, a thousand ridiculous reasons for Benrey to be in their dreams, but… they never acted like this, not really.

They couldn’t handle that, and her mind ran through more questions regarding Benrey being in their dreams.

“You…” she hesitated. “Are you even alive?”

“Whuh?”

She closed her eyes, saying nothing more. There couldn’t be any way they hadn’t heard her.

“Yeah, so?”

Good. They had heard. She opened her eyes again, looking Benrey directly in the eyes.

“If you’re really alive, how about you show up in person?”

Casey’s vision – the dream – faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Dream-reality things going on, mention of a void-like location (or expanse, probably the type to cause vertigo)
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated. Any highlights you like? Particular moments/events that have you curious? I'd love to hear them :>  
> (Also critiques if ever there's something that should be pointed out)


	14. Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Reflecting on the previous chapter, contemplating the nature of the game

Waking up was slow, and Casey stayed where she was, content and warm. That is, before she felt disorienting details. She frowned, feeling the side of some couch and half sitting up before realising where she had fallen asleep – _right, Gordon’s place_.

A hand patted her shoulder briefly, and she shifted her gaze to see that Gordon was awake. He smiled at her, and she returned it, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Mornin’,” she said, sitting up. “Sleep alright?”

He nodded, typing on his phone and moving it so she could read over his shoulder.

**[seems like you slept as well?]**

“…Huh. So I did.” She frowned, adding, “But I know I spoke to Benrey again. Weird.”

**[don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. want pancakes? any allergies?]**

She nodded. “Uh. Sure. Yeah. Sounds good. Not allergic to anything.” Her mind was still thinking back, working to decipher what her talk with Benrey had been about. It was surprisingly easy, considering it was a dream. It did feel more like… a weird but real interaction.

Casey barely registered Gordon putting his prosthetic back on and pulling his hair back into a ponytail as he left to make breakfast for the two of them.

While sounds from the kitchen started up, Casey curled into a corner of the couch, thinking back on the exchange. She brought her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs and half-hiding her face as she reflected on bits of her conversation with Benrey.

_“Why are you doing this?”_

_“Can’t friends talk?”_

_“You got my arm cut off.”_

_“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”_

_“You didn’t even admit to knowing what happened!”_

_“Not even letting a buddy say sorry, huh.”_

Why. Why were they so evasive? So… insistent that they were friends? Surely they knew by now that they were all just… that they used to be just fancy code. Unless they just stuck to whatever coded memories of Gordon that had been generated. They weren’t sure how that could have happened, though. There were no specifically-set backstories for any of them.

And Benrey was a nuisance, not a friend. Maybe they’d have been more inclined to be friends if Benrey hadn’t gotten Gordon’s arm cut off or been the final boss. Though lately, they had _only_ been annoying.

_“You’ve been letting me stay in your dreams.”_

There’s no way. It didn’t make sense. Benrey showed up and wrecked their sleep. It was like they ran away from their own dreams whenever they showed up. They _didn’t_ want that.

_“If you’re really alive, how about you show up in person?”_

That’s when they went back to… dreamless sleep. Did Benrey do that? How had Casey not just woken up immediately? Were they that used to them being more real despite being in a dream? And Benrey had… they had said they were alive. So, unless Casey was going crazy… would they actually see them in real life? They weren’t sure how to feel about that. Benrey had become the villain, after all. But they hadn’t tried to commit murder in Casey’s dreams.

…Did they really think the absence of murder was a deciding factor in Benrey Threat Levels?

Gordon knocked on the wall and Casey startled, looking over at him. He made a quick gesture with his head, indicating there was food ready to eat. They scrambled to their feet, stumbling slightly as though still half-asleep before reaching the table.

“Uh, sorry about…” Casey started, “the unplanned sleepover.”

The physicist shook his head, smiling in amusement as he set out the plates of food. He sent a text to Casey as a response.

**[the only way I’d have a problem is if I had work today]**

**[which I don’t]**

“That’s… that’s good,” she set her still-unlocked phone on the table. “Guess I’m same boat now. Told Josh – my boss – that I’d stick to work from home for a bit. Lack of sleep and all that.”

Gordon looked at them and squinted his eyes. The next words he typed were slow, and immediately sent them into a laughing fit.

**[is that why you named your “son” Joshua?]**

“I-” she struggled to breathe and regain her composure as she thought about it. “I- did not. Think about that. At all.” They laughed again. “ _Maybe?_ I mean, Josh _is_ a great guy, but- but there’s a lot of Joshes in the world!” She snorted, wiping at her eyes, “My son _Josh._ ”

**[sounds like you love your job]**

Gordon’s eyes were lit up with amusement, an easy smile on his face. Faint, but there.

“I do!” she leaned back. “It’s a pretty small group working together. We’re pretty lax with each other, and they trust that I’ll get what I can done while I’m at home. The benefits of the internet are I don’t have to worry about bringing work home. Just gotta make sure that wifi’s workin’,” she waved a dismissive hand, still smiling. “It’s worth the raging. I mean, the AI side project was only possible because of practice and some help from others…” her smile faltered, then she shook her head. “It was fun to figure out, I’ll give it that much. How about your work? Still a theoretical physicist?”

He nodded, adding more of an explanation with a couple texts.

**[yep. lots of research papers to write and review]**

**[the funny part is how… mundane my job is compared to black mesa.]**

“Oh yeah?” they leaned forwards, propping their chin on their hand, the other using the fork to start eating her pancakes again.

Gordon shrugged, continuing on with the topic.

**[well we sure aren’t dealing with aliens or anomalous materials. and I’m not doing as much manual labour. actually focused on the “theoretical” part of my job, which is nice]**

The jab at being stuck with what his job wasn’t supposed to be entertained Casey. They felt a strange satisfaction at seeing Gordon outside of Black Mesa, in a very different situation from the science fiction he came from.

“Heh. I don’t even think anomalous materials exist in this world,” Casey chuckled. “Closest we’ve got is radioactive.”

**[and not all radioactive is deadly]**

“Not all anomalous is deadly, either. At least I don’t think it would be.”

**[black mesa would find a way to make it dangerous]**

Casey raised a mischievous eyebrow. “That’s not _lethal_ , though.”

Gordon gave the equivalent of a “fair enough” face that made Casey chuckle slightly.

“In all honesty, I highly doubt that matters anymore.” She made a face, “Well, I mean that we’re not really going to be dealing with that Half-Life stuff anymore. Unless you wanted to play through the series? I mean, the games your… mod was connected to.”

**[is it very different from what we did?]**

“I guess? Like, some parts I missed, some moments never happened, though overall the environmental progress was the same,” as they spoke, they tilted their hand in a “so-so” gesture. “It’s a lot more serious than… well, than the AI made it. Except for doc- Harold’s thing with the clones. That was terrifying.”

Gordon shuddered, remembering the moment.

“Worse when you’re there?” they wince in sympathy.

He nodded.

Casey hummed. “Well, frankly, I’m not sure if Benrey or the Nihilanth is worse, so there’s that,” she shrugged. “And, well… some of Half-Life 2 was freakout mode. Oh, you might not like Half-Life Alyx since I’ve got the VR? Might be too real for you. Still. Options.”

Once they had finished their breakfast and cleared everything away, Gordon followed Casey to the front door. He held up a finger and disappeared for a moment, returning with Casey’s clothes he had borrowed.

“Oh, right,” she laughed. “I forgot about that.”

His eyes matched the amusement in her chuckle.

“Heh… see you tonight, I guess?” she gave him a lopsided smile, playing with the keys in her hand. “It was, nice, to spend some time with you.”

Gordon held out his arms in invitation, so Casey gave him a quick hug.

When she pulled away, she gave a small wave. “See ya.”

_And now just waiting for tonight,_ Casey thought to herself as she drove home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're catching up with my backlog, since I haven't written in a while, aside from a few short bursts. But I don't want to leave this unfinished! Hopefully it's not too slow when I catch up completely
> 
> (I've been in an rp using present tense, so lmk if I've messed up any grammar!)
> 
> Have a great weekend, y'all <3


	15. Keeping Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The player hosts an evening with the Extended Science Team.

Casey drifted through most of the day, idly doing things to do before the others arrived. Writing down things to do as she thought of them. Getting around to actually doing them when she could.

She scheduled an order of pizza and soda (that was agreed upon when they were arranging this get-together) to avoid forgetting or worrying about it, and then idly read stories and scrolled through social media on her phone.

Around five, the doorbell rang. They got up to open it, and was greeted by Bubby and Dr. Coomer.

“Hey, first to arrive!” they stepped back, allowing the two men to enter. “How’s life goin?”

“Still weird, but I _suppose_ I don’t actually mind teaching,” Bubby dismissed.

“Students probably like your attitude, don’t they?”

“Indeed they do!” Dr. Coomer chuckled. “Darnold’s told me about some rather eventful occurrences!”

Casey raised an eyebrow towards Bubby, who appeared flustered by the praise.

“Good profs are great to have,” Casey patted him on the shoulder, heading further into the house. “I know I had favourites back in the day.”

The three of them arranged themselves around the dining table, Casey opting to sit on the kitchen counter for the moment.

“So,” Casey started, “whatcha want to do? Talk about how it’s been? I’m kinda curious what you’ve been up to,” they shrugged.

“I’m part of a boxing club!” Dr. Coomer cried.

“Oh really?” they grinned. “Didn’t know there was one. Nice.”

“It is indeed.”

“Is there a leaderboard?”

“Friendly competition only,” he replied. “I have, however, won a few good matches and been bested just as much!”

“That’s probably because you’re going easy on them,” Bubby sneered.

“Of course I am! Power Limbs™ are an unfair advantage they do not know about! Going easy is really levelling the playing field.”

Casey raised their eyebrows, though they didn’t comment. They had forgotten about the enhancements the crew had, after they had returned to their usual life.

She tilted her head inquisitively as she asked, “How about you, Bubby?”

“Nobody’s caught onto the way I’ve started a few fires,” xe grinned, a certain glint in his eye.

“Hold up,” Casey held up a hand. “Have you set things on _fire_ during your _lessons_?”

Bubby grinned without divulging any further information.

“Ohhhhh- _kay_ ,” they leaned back, staring at xem. “Better not commit a crime.”

“It’s not a crime if you don’t get caught.”

Casey merely chuckled as she shook her head.

The doorbell rang again, so Casey hopped off her perch to answer it.

Darnold turned at the sound of the door opening, though Casey’s attention was turned to the arriving car for a moment.

“Nice timing on ‘em,” Casey commented. “C’mon in, nice to see you came!”

He smiled at her welcome as he stepped in. “It’s… it’s kind of nice to know people have a similar experience to mine.”

“Yeah,” Casey sighed, watching Tommy and Gordon step out of the vehicle. “Though I think Forzen ghosted. Don’t really blame him, if I’m honest.” She shook her head. “Bubby and Coomer are in the other room, feel free to settle in,” she gestured in the general direction, where it sounded like a debate was starting up. “I’ll join you soon.”

Darnold nodded, making his way into the house.

“Hey,” Casey waved as she turned to the new arrivals. “How’re ya?”

“I’ve been doing okay,” Tommy started. “Still get- getting used to… all this.”

“Fair,” Casey shrugged. “It’s pretty different, isn’t it?” She meant it as a rhetorical question, moving to close the door behind the two. “Hopefully things get easier over time.”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed.

Gordon watched them for a moment, as Tommy made his way to the kitchen.

They patted at their pocket, sighing slightly. “Left my phone lying around. I should learn sign, shouldn’t I?” they chuckled a bit.

Gordon shrugged, then pulled out his own phone to turn it towards Casey, “You and me both, the game didn’t give me that.”

Casey frowned, “That’s cheap. Lazy coder.” They paused. “I didn’t really look at that stuff, either.”

The man shrugged, dropping his phone into his pocket. Together, they made their way into the kitchen.

“BUBBY WHAT DID YOU SET ON FIRE,” Casey blurted out, watching as a lump of… something burned on their table. “You know what, fire’s banned! Don’t do that!”

Bubby looked at them with a flat gaze, picking up the item as the flame died down. “That was a parlor trick. No harm done, see?” xe gestured at the table underneath, which was miraculously unscathed.

“…I still don’t want you burning things in my house,” Casey finally stated, their voice raising a pitch or two. They shook their head. “Might set off the fire alarm, anyways.”

“Fine,” Bubby rolled his eyes.

“What… _did_ you burn?” Casey asked, simultaneously curious and hesitant.

“A napkin!” Dr. Coomer cheerfully declared.

They just shook their head, not entirely surprised by the situation, as it was still the Science Team that had gone through Black Mesa with her.

“Uh, so, anyways,” Casey changed the subject. “I was thinking we could either watch a movie or play games of some sort? Pizza’s gonna come around six, so we’ve got about an hour before then.”

“I wouldn’t mind a good card game, perhaps poker,” Bubby suggested.

“I’m not very good at that game,” Darnold spoke up hesitantly.

Tommy agreed with Darnold, adding on, “And I’d- I don’t want to lose money like that.”

“Could do no real bets,” Casey suggested, “If that’s what’s got you hesitant. Or… we could play spoons?” she offered as an alternative.

“But with knives!” Bubby – rather enthusiastically – suggested.

“No knives,” Casey quickly cut in before the idea could root itself. “I don’t want the risk of a hospital visit.”

Casey’s phone lit up on the counter, so she reached over to check it. It was a text from Gordon. On the group chat, thankfully, so others could also read it.

**[I think we should pick a movie; it’ll take you forever to decide anyways.]**

“We will _not!_ ” Bubby cried out indignantly.

“You kinda might,” Casey chuckled. “We never really made decisions that we all agreed on… before.”

“You are incorrect!” Dr. Coomer protested.

“Oh?” raise eyebrow “What’s your evidence?”

Dr Coomer kept on smiling with no response. Likely because it didn’t have one.

“I think it would be best if we… well, decided on something now,” Darnold suggested. “That way, we can start watching it as soon as food arrives, and it won’t go cold.”

“That makes sense,” Casey shrugged. “I’m on board with it.”

After a few more minutes of arguing, the majority vote led to deciding on a film to watch. It did end up dragging on until the food had arrived, though it had mostly changed to relaxed banter partway through. There was a general agreement on the movie, with few actual complaints, so Casey was happy with the decision.

While they watched the movie and ate, the constant commentary from the group sometimes drowned out the movie itself, so Casey turned on the captions rather quickly. However, it was just as entertaining to hear all their thoughts, so she sat back and laughed with them.

When the movie ended, the majority of them insisted on watching more. Casey obliged by letting them argue over what they wanted to watch next for the better part of an hour.

She found herself sitting between Gordon and Darnold, who had taken over half of the couch while Bubby took the other half, Coomer taking the armchair and Tommy relaxing on the ground (though Casey did offer another seat if he wanted).

As the evening turned to night, Casey felt her energy fade with the light. It wasn’t very difficult for her to draw into herself, considering the number of guests there were. Tommy glanced over to her every once in a while, and she hoped her smiles were reassuring. She could handle herself.

Gordon tapped her leg at one point to check on her as well, offering his side for her to lean into. She quietly accepted, enjoying the company as he draped his arm over her shoulders.

Soon enough, people began to leave. Bubby and Dr. Coomer left first, Dr. Coomer mentioning that it still had papers to mark. Darnold seemed to be reminded of the same thing, leaving at the same time as the older pair. Tommy and Gordon stayed slightly longer to chat, which Casey didn’t mind.

“Glad you’re all havin’ fun,” Casey said, doing her best to speak up. She could feel her tiredness affecting her ability to speak.

“It’s really, really nice to… spend time with the Science Team,” Tommy smiled.

“Sure is,” she murmured, rubbing at her eyes. “Kinda sad I get so drained every time.” She let out a small chuckle. “Hopefully that won’t be a constant thing.”

“That’s okay,” Tommy patted her leg from where he was lying down. “We don’t have to all be together at once every time.”

Casey smiled at him, before yawning. She glanced at the time. “Oh, geez, eleven-thirty?” Casey straightened up slightly in her seat. “Didn’t even realise.”

“We should- we should probably go home now,” Tommy turned to look at Gordon, who nodded.

They both hugged Casey goodbye before they left, Gordon taking the driver’s seat as they left.

Alone once more, Casey went through her nightly routine on autopilot, nestling into her bed as soon as she could and quickly falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how satisfied I am with this chapter? Feels a bit awkward and dialogue-heavy but I'm not sure what to do about it. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, though!
> 
> One more chapter before I've run out of pre-written chapters... I know what I want to do next, I've just been busy and haven't gotten around to writing the next bits. I'll probably write a bunch come the summer months (I really hope I do).
> 
> As always, feel free to kudos/comment <3


End file.
